Say What?

I've always been interested in "sayings".  You know, those one liners that everyone grew up with - like "the pot calling the kettle black", or "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush".  I know that everyone out there is just dying to find out how all of these sayings have come about so it is my mission in this blog to get you as much information as I possibly can so that you can stop worrying about the origin of sayings...and begin to worry about something of much more importance, such as how to pay me for all of the research I have done.  I can certainly help you with that one!

First, a couple that my father used when we were growing up.  "What a half-baked clam!", meaning that someone really didn't know what they were talking about.  "Straighten up and fly right" - he would tell me that when I was being a little less than perfect...hard to believe, I know.  And of course the old "what a jabroni!" which was reserved exclusively for idiots on the road.  I could add in a few from my father-in-law which are hilarious, however the rating on this blog would go from "G" to at least "PG" so we'll leave it at that!

"He's a Big Wig".  Ever wonder about  that one?  Apparently way back in the 1700's men wore wigs and the larger the wig the more important they were thought to be.  If big hair was the way to importance today I would be at the bottom of the food chain, if you catch my drift.

Horses have a number of sayings affiliated with them.  "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth."  Those of you who own horses know that you can tell a horse's age by looking at their teeth...not unlike some people I know.  So when you are given a gift you are to be gracious about it and accept it. "Wow! Just what I always wanted, an Elmer Fudd Chia Pet!"  The saying "straight from the horse's mouth" means that you are getting the true story right from the source - again referring to the horse's teeth being the true measure of their age.  I'm surprised that there isn't a cottage industry to make dentures for horses.  "Wait a minute, this horse can't even walk!"  "But the horse is only three years old, see?  Check his teeth!"  And how can we forget "long in the tooth."  Again, describing horses and some people I have known.  Keeping with the theme, quick joke.  A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "so why the long face?"  This is why I don't do stand-up.

How about "Red Tape"?  Long ago official documents were bound with red tape.  Nowadays everything  government is bound with red tape - the real thick sticky kind that makes it impossible to do almost anything. My guess is that you knew this already.

"Put a sock in it!"  Most of us know this means to shut up!  This one may have come from the old gramophone record players that didn't have volume controls...the suggestion was made to put socks in the horn of the machine to lower the volume.  I thought this one was only recently made up because this saying, above and beyond all of the others, has many appropriate applications today.

"Cost an arm and a leg".   Old time artists used to charge for their portrait paintings based on the number of limbs to be included in the painting.  Today "it costs an arm and a leg" aptly describes what?  You got it, the price of gas.  Another saying comes to mind which combines the human body and gas (no, let's not go there) and it is "foot the bill".  This came from having to add the numbers in a column and putting the total at the foot of the bill.  Long ago customers were asked to foot the bill to check the arithmetic before they paid.  Today you are asked to foot the bill every time you fill up.  As far as gas prices I can think of a better use of a foot, involving a good swift kick in the keester.

"Pay through the nose."  Wow, could I have some fun with this one!  Some think this was originally "led by the nose" and meant being controlled or dominated by someone.  Others think it originated many centuries ago; if someone didn't pay a tax they would have their noses...well, let's just say that if you had a stuffy nose back then it would no longer be stuffy.  I don't make this up, I just report it.  I think if someone owed me money and they were going to pay through the nose I may forgive the debt.

My blog must be coming to an end.  How do I know this?  There is a woman in our neighborhood who is just slightly overweight.  I hear her singing outside, and as everyone knows, it ain't over til the fat lady sings!