Resolutions-R-Us

New Year's resolutions.  We all know someone that has resolved to do or not to do something for the new year...maybe it is you.  Have you noticed that most of the time those resolutions go by the boards in the days or weeks that follow January 1st?  Not to worry, my friends, I am here to help.  That alone will make at least some of you leery to make any resolutions.  (There, I said it before you had the chance to.  If your New Year's resolution is to stop offending people, I just gave you a running start!)

For those of you who have never made a New Year's resolution, you have to at least try it.  Why should the rest of us be miserable when you too can join our ranks?  C'mon, you can never have enough failure in your life, right?  But this blog is about exactly the opposite - it is about overcoming the fears and anxieties of making resolutions so you are successful in whatever you decide to resolve to do.  So let's give this a shot, shall we?

First of all, the resolutions that most of us make are things such as losing weight, stop smoking, get more exercise, reduce stress in your life, etc.  Most experts agree (don't you love that line "most experts agree"?  It instantly makes the person saying it sound like they know what they are talking about, or sound like they have done extensive research into the subject and found a consensus among the experts and are reporting it as the gospel truth.  Let's get it straight right now, you KNOW I don't have time to do research, so the line "most experts agree" is totally worthless.  However, because I want to make this sound like I know what I am talking about I will use it just the same...back to the blog).

Most experts agree that in order to keep a resolution you have to make it a habit, and a habit normally takes six weeks or more to develop.  Therein lies the problem.  Who has six weeks to do anything?  So what we need to do is develop a habit in, say, 10 seconds or so.  And of course I have the solution.  Ready?  STOP IT!  That's the solution...STOP IT!  When you are getting ready to reach for that 5th piece of pumpkin pie smothered in whipped cream with a caramel mocha cappuccino chaser just tell yourself STOP IT!  Mission accomplished.  When you are getting ready to light up a cigarette just STOP IT!  When you are lacing up your sneakers to go for a walk to get more exercise, just STOP IT!  Wait a minute, I just found a little flaw in my solution - guess I'll have to work on that.

What we all need to do is to come up with resolutions that we can keep.  Here's an example:  let's say your New Year's resolution is to reduce stress by taking a trip.  And let's say you have no food in your house.  The solution?  Take a trip to the grocery store which will not only take care of the food dilemma, but you will have also fulfilled your resolution to take a trip, thus giving you less stress!  See how easy this can be?  Or how about this one?  You want to resolve to save money this year, and also resolve to keep in touch with friends  more...two excellent resolutions.  Invite yourself over to a different friend's house each night, right around supper time.  Not only will your food bill dramatically decrease, you will be seeing friends just like you resolved to do! 

And let's not forget - if your resolution is to get in shape, round is a shape!

Of course the easiest way to not fail at a resolution is to not make any in the first place.  That's no fun.  I want everyone to pick at least one New Year's resolution and beginning January 1st stick to it and see what happens.  You may surprise yourself by losing weight, getting in shape, reducing your bills, etc.  Have I resolved to do anything?  Of course, what kind of person would I be if I myself did not take my own advice?  Here are a few of my resolutions:  watch more TV, eat more fried foods, double up on dessert and take more naps - at work.  Guess it's time to take my own advice...STOP IT!  Happy New Year everyone!

Christmas Carols

I've been listening to the radio and most of the stations are playing Christmas Carols - which makes sense because Christmas is right around the corner.  In case you were wondering, this year Christmas falls on December 25th.  So in honor of the Christmas holiday I decided to listen, really listen, to the lyrics of some of these songs.  While the majority of the Carols are nice, inspirational or somewhat fun, the balance are, well, not.

For me, the Christmas music season doesn't begin until I hear an Andy Williams song such as "It's the Most Wonderful  Time of the Year".  After I hear that I've had enough, and I tune into the sports station.  Nah, not really.  But there are stations that, from Thanksgiving through Christmas day, play nothing but Christmas Carols wall-to-wall, 24/7.  And you gotta figure, with all of that time to play music, there has to be at least one or two or dozens of duds among the good music that is there just to fill some time.  Basing our calculations on 744 hours of available time, and figuring in the car sales commercials and news blips every hour, let's estimate the time allotted for music is about 29,760 minutes.  The average Christmas Carol is roughly 3 minutes long, so that means that radio stations play, on average, 9,920 Christmas Carols during the Christmas season!  Now, I don't care how much you like these songs, there has to be one or two among the almost 10,000 Carols that you may not like.  I know a few of you are saying to yourselves "only one or two?  How about 9,919 of them?", leaving room, of course, for Andy Williams' "It's the Most Wonderful  Time of the Year".  Grinches, every one of you!!!

Here are just a few of the gems that are out there.  The old classic "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" is beloved by most kids and adults alike, but have you ever really listened to the words?  "All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names, they never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games."  Are ya kidding me?  What a bunch of brats!  Oh, but then, Santa asks him to guide his sleigh and immediately "then all the reindeer loved him..."  Who knew that reindeer were such a fickle, brown-nosing group of animals? (My wife just reminded me that Rudolph has a red nose...since she's not allowed to be funnier than me I will claim I thought of that myself.)  Santa should have benched the reindeer that were making fun of Rudolph for a year and see how THEY liked it!  Benched the reindeer...maybe I should start listening to more Christmas music and less sports radio, eh?

Another song that I wonder about is  "We Wish You a Merry Christmas".  Sounds innocent enough, right?  Wrong!  Listen to some of the words.  "Oh bring us some figgy pudding, oh bring us some figgy pudding, oh bring us some figgy pudding and a cup of good cheer".  Don't you love guests that demand not once but three times for you to bring them something?  Oh, but it gets better..."We won't go until we get some, we won't go until we get some,we won't go until we get some,so bring some out here".  Did you know there is a second verse to the song?  It goes "Just get out of my house now, just get out of my house now, just get out of my house now, but leave the presents here!"  Ungrateful snobs, I'll show you.  A bit rude, I grant you, but justified all the same.

Of course there are the songs that are designed to be a bit ridiculous, such as "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer".  My guess is it was one of the reindeer that Santa should have benched...but I digress.  Another classic is "All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth"...I won't even comment on that one.  Then there's "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus".  Did you know that when that came out there was major controversy over the meaning of the song?  Oh how times have changed!

Granted, there are hundreds of Christmas carols, but most radio stations play a limited number of them, so the likelihood of hearing one of these classics is very good.  I know you may be thinking what a Scrooge I must be, pointing out flaws in Christmas music.  Not true.  I am forced to write this stuff down, otherwise I might explode, and although that may be acceptable for a Fourth of July celebration, on Christmas it just won't fly.  Kind of like the reindeer that Santa should bench.

Let me leave you with this.  My favorite Christmas special on TV is "A Charlie Brown Christmas" because it is the only one I've ever seen that gives the actual meaning of Christmas.  And in this politically correct world we live in (don't get me started about that) it is still refreshing that every year Linus quotes the Bible regarding the birth of Christ, and gives the real meaning behind Christmas.  The clip, of course, is on You Tube.  So if you find yourself up against the grinches and Scrooges of the world, or you get depressed listening to the lyrics of Christmas Carols (thanks to yours truly), remember the words of Linus van Pelt and the real meaning of Christmas.  We here at TK's Random Thoughts wish each and every one of you a Merry Christmas and a happy holiday season.