Christmas Carols

I've been listening to the radio and most of the stations are playing Christmas Carols - which makes sense because Christmas is right around the corner.  In case you were wondering, this year Christmas falls on December 25th.  So in honor of the Christmas holiday I decided to listen, really listen, to the lyrics of some of these songs.  While the majority of the Carols are nice, inspirational or somewhat fun, the balance are, well, not.

For me, the Christmas music season doesn't begin until I hear an Andy Williams song such as "It's the Most Wonderful  Time of the Year".  After I hear that I've had enough, and I tune into the sports station.  Nah, not really.  But there are stations that, from Thanksgiving through Christmas day, play nothing but Christmas Carols wall-to-wall, 24/7.  And you gotta figure, with all of that time to play music, there has to be at least one or two or dozens of duds among the good music that is there just to fill some time.  Basing our calculations on 744 hours of available time, and figuring in the car sales commercials and news blips every hour, let's estimate the time allotted for music is about 29,760 minutes.  The average Christmas Carol is roughly 3 minutes long, so that means that radio stations play, on average, 9,920 Christmas Carols during the Christmas season!  Now, I don't care how much you like these songs, there has to be one or two among the almost 10,000 Carols that you may not like.  I know a few of you are saying to yourselves "only one or two?  How about 9,919 of them?", leaving room, of course, for Andy Williams' "It's the Most Wonderful  Time of the Year".  Grinches, every one of you!!!

Here are just a few of the gems that are out there.  The old classic "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" is beloved by most kids and adults alike, but have you ever really listened to the words?  "All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names, they never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games."  Are ya kidding me?  What a bunch of brats!  Oh, but then, Santa asks him to guide his sleigh and immediately "then all the reindeer loved him..."  Who knew that reindeer were such a fickle, brown-nosing group of animals? (My wife just reminded me that Rudolph has a red nose...since she's not allowed to be funnier than me I will claim I thought of that myself.)  Santa should have benched the reindeer that were making fun of Rudolph for a year and see how THEY liked it!  Benched the reindeer...maybe I should start listening to more Christmas music and less sports radio, eh?

Another song that I wonder about is  "We Wish You a Merry Christmas".  Sounds innocent enough, right?  Wrong!  Listen to some of the words.  "Oh bring us some figgy pudding, oh bring us some figgy pudding, oh bring us some figgy pudding and a cup of good cheer".  Don't you love guests that demand not once but three times for you to bring them something?  Oh, but it gets better..."We won't go until we get some, we won't go until we get some,we won't go until we get some,so bring some out here".  Did you know there is a second verse to the song?  It goes "Just get out of my house now, just get out of my house now, just get out of my house now, but leave the presents here!"  Ungrateful snobs, I'll show you.  A bit rude, I grant you, but justified all the same.

Of course there are the songs that are designed to be a bit ridiculous, such as "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer".  My guess is it was one of the reindeer that Santa should have benched...but I digress.  Another classic is "All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth"...I won't even comment on that one.  Then there's "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus".  Did you know that when that came out there was major controversy over the meaning of the song?  Oh how times have changed!

Granted, there are hundreds of Christmas carols, but most radio stations play a limited number of them, so the likelihood of hearing one of these classics is very good.  I know you may be thinking what a Scrooge I must be, pointing out flaws in Christmas music.  Not true.  I am forced to write this stuff down, otherwise I might explode, and although that may be acceptable for a Fourth of July celebration, on Christmas it just won't fly.  Kind of like the reindeer that Santa should bench.

Let me leave you with this.  My favorite Christmas special on TV is "A Charlie Brown Christmas" because it is the only one I've ever seen that gives the actual meaning of Christmas.  And in this politically correct world we live in (don't get me started about that) it is still refreshing that every year Linus quotes the Bible regarding the birth of Christ, and gives the real meaning behind Christmas.  The clip, of course, is on You Tube.  So if you find yourself up against the grinches and Scrooges of the world, or you get depressed listening to the lyrics of Christmas Carols (thanks to yours truly), remember the words of Linus van Pelt and the real meaning of Christmas.  We here at TK's Random Thoughts wish each and every one of you a Merry Christmas and a happy holiday season.