Monday, September 23, 2013

Studies Government-style!

With everything that is going on with the government today I thought I'd write a blog about studies.  Not the stuff that we had to do in school, but studies that our illustrious government funds with our hard earned money.  Notice I said "our" hard earned money.  Let's not forget that the government does not make money, unless you consider printing it making it.  No, what the government does is an enormous job of redistribution of our money.  Granted the majority of what they spend it on is necessary (roughly 51%) but the remainder is what we lovingly refer to as "pork-barrel projects".  You know, those "we gotta have 'em" projects that we cannot do without.

 I did some research about some of these pork-barrel projects.  It took me about 1/2 hour to find these, and if the government had hired me to do this research I figure I could have made $15,971 not including lodging and transportation.  Quite a bargain by federal standards.  Here is a list of just a few of these pet projects.  First a disclaimer...if one or more of these projects were done at your request, well, too bad:

1) $107,000 to study the sex life of the Japanese quail.  Apparently the male quail (say that 5 times fast) is quite the ladies man.  Nuff said.
2) $84,000 to find out why people fall in love.  Now THERE'S a mystery.  Can't wait to see how that book ends.  I bet the butler did it.
3) $1 Million dollars to find out why people don't ride bikes to work.  Well let's see.  I work about 23 miles from home and the best way to get from here to there is by Route 395 through Norwich.  Seeing as how you can't ride a bike on Route 395, and I'm not about to bike over 30 miles one way, which is the next best route, well, there you go!  That's a million dollars we'll never get back.
4) $100,000 on how to avoid falling spacecraft.  As my friend Frank would say, some jokes just write themselves.  And possibly my favorite because of the subject and the dollar amount...
5)  $19 Million dollars to examine gas emissions from cow flatulence.  I don't care if you believe in global warming or not, that is just a little over the top.  I wonder if they'll classify that as man-made global warming? Okay, splain that one to me Lucy!

So the next time you are taking your Japanese quail for a walk while reading a love story not riding your bike to work (shame on you, by the way!), running through a smelly cow field because you're trying to avoid those pesky falling spacecraft, remember this blog and then ask yourself..."would the federal government have paid me to read this?"  And if the answer is yes, let me know and we'll split the money!  Wait, there's a knock at my door.  Can I help you?  You're with the FBI?  Oh, the other FBI.  The Federal Blog Investigation?  Hey honey, call our attorney, we're in deep!


Sunday, September 1, 2013

Run/Walk to Break the Silence

Normally I can bang out a blog in a short period of time without too
much thought being put into it. Yes, that is my secret - not thinking -
seems to work every time! This one is a little bit different. Not that
I don't know a lot about the subject; quite the contrary, possibly too
much. I had never even heard of the subject before 2003 when it came,
uninvited, into our lives.


Ovarian cancer. Just the sound of those words can make one cringe.
When you hear of a friend or an acquaintance that has cancer your first
thought is "oh, that is too bad". But when it invades your life, or
your spouse's life, the angst level is off the charts. My wife Madonna
was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in August of 2003. She had all of the
"classic symptoms": bloating (in her case appearing to be 9 months
pregnant), stomach pain, frequent urination, and a few more. Who knew
what the symptoms of ovarian cancer were? Certainly not us. Most of
the symptoms mirror things many women experience on a monthly basis;
this is how insidious this disease is. It used to be known as the
"silent killer" however now we know that it is not - it whispers. If
the symptoms persist for more than two weeks, or if a symptom is unusual
for you, see a doctor. Chances are good that it is not ovarian cancer.
But if it is (about 22,000 women are diagnosed each year) and you catch
it early you have a 90% chance of survival. Unfortunately many women
aren't diagnosed early and about 15,000 women will die each year.


Getting back to our journey, my wife had an operation that removed a 17
centimeter tumor in her ovary, and without going into too much medical
jargon she had everything removed. Six sessions of chemotherapy
followed over the next four months, complete with total hair loss and
feeling like a Mack truck had run her over. That was ten years ago, and
our journey since that time has been many check-ups with good news each
time. Not that we did not have a few scares along the way, thinking
that the disease had recurred, which it does quite frequently. I think
about those times and they may have been more scary than the original
diagnosis.


Knowledge is the key for ovarian cancer. It can be beat, and it is
being beaten every day. The major problem is that there is no
definitive screening test that can be done so women need to be in tune
with their bodies and advocate for themselves. And men, you too need to
be aware as well. Had I known the symptoms back in 2003 I would have
insisted that my wife get checked out earlier than what she actually
did. That is why the National Ovarian Cancer Coalition (NOCC) states
that ovarian cancer is "more than a woman's disease". I can certainly
vouch for that as it affects everyone in the family.


The mission of the NOCC is to raise awareness and promote education
about ovarian cancer. They are committed to improving the survival rate
and quality of life for women with ovarian cancer. Being a non-profit
organization they rely primarily on donations. September is ovarian
cancer awareness month and the Connecticut Chapter of the NOCC is
sponsoring their 4th Annual Run/Walk to Break the Silence on Ovarian
Cancer on Saturday September 7, 2013 at Rentschler Field in East
Hartford beginning at 8 AM. Not only is it a fundraiser but it is also
a celebration of survivors and the memories of those lost to the
disease. It is an event complete with entertainment, vendors of all
kinds, food, etc. The comradery that is felt there cannot be explained;
it has to be experienced. It is a beautiful celebration. For more
information please go to nocc.kintera.org/connecticut. You can register
the morning of the walk or online before it. If you have any questions
or need any other information feel free to email me at
tkonline1@sbcglobal.net.