The Primitive Bathroom

Have you ever heard of a "Primitive Bathroom"?  Me either.  This was the brainchild of my lovely (just in case she reads this) wife who loves country decor.  I am told (by my wife) that that many people love the country/primitive style. So as a result that is what our bathroom has turned in to...not by itself, mind you...it has had some help along the way by yours truly and The Architect of the project, my wife.

If you had asked me what a primitive bathroom was before this project began I would have told you an outhouse would probably be a great example.  Can't get much more primitive than that, with the possible  exception of going in the woods, but that is for another blog (betcha can't wait for THAT one, can you)???  It seems the idea of a primitive bathroom, or PB for short, is to make things look old but function as a normal bathroom would.  A normal functioning bathroom is a good idea because the thought of me getting a bucket of water from the creek 5 times a day is not too appealing, especially considering that the nearest creek is about 1/4 mile away.  I suppose I could just siphon some water from my neighbor's pool but he may frown on that.

The bathroom did need to be redone so this project didn't come out of the blue.  Want to hear a good example of the difference between how men and women think?  Me: the bathroom needs to be painted, possibly change a fixture or two and clean up some mold on the window.  My wife: yes, that's correct, but I was thinking that we could change just a few other things, like paint the ceiling, replace the bathroom fan, change all of the bathtub fixtures, replace the shower curtain rod, put up wainscoting then paint it, put in a new floor, refinish the vanity, replace the mirror, get a new medicine cabinet, new lights, new toilet paper holder, new bathroom window, new door trim, new hooks for towels, and install a vessel sink & water pump faucet.  Can you see my dilemma?  I know the guys do!

Out of everything listed here a "vessel sink" is something that I was not familiar with.  (However, I am very familiar now so if you have any questions feel free to ask.)  Apparently an integral part of a PB is a vessel sink, because one can't have something that looks normal in a PB bathroom with the exception of the toilet because, well, just a hole in the floor wouldn't cut it if you catch my drift.  And I don't think The Architect would approve of it either.  For those of you who are primitive-bathroom-challenged a vessel sink is a large bowl that sits on top of a vanity with its companion the old fashioned water pump faucet.  I posted a picture of it above to give you an idea of just what I'm talking about. By the way, not listed in the "new" stuff my wife mentioned above is the plumbing below the vessel sink...yeah, that was enjoyable.

If anyone were to ask me my opinion now on how to construct a PB my advice would be to purchase a huge chunk of styrofoam the size of your bathroom, shove it in there, hollow it out to like a cave and paint it black, red, brown or any other primitive color.  Done.  Actually, the easiest thing to do would be to move to a home that already has a PB...I know a house in Canterbury that has such a bathroom and can now be purchased for around $1,000,000 or so.  Not that the new things in the PB were that expensive, but the cost of labor was ridiculous!