I'm a bachelor this week - until late Friday anyway. The wife (I always thought that sounded dumb, "the wife"...sounds like a thing rather than a person. Wait a minute...hmmm...I may be onto something here. I don't think I will go any further with that thought - just my way of promoting domestic harmony!) Anyway, my wife decided to go to California and leave me high and dry here. She just up and left. Just because her new job required her to go doesn't mean she actually HAD to go, did it? Who is going to wait on me hand and foot the way I am used to? Heh, heh, heh, BWAHAHAHAHA!!!! Sorry, I couldn't continue any longer without laughing out loud!
Going away now is much different than when I was younger. When I was a boy back in the Paleolithic Era (Stone Age to you younger urchins out there) there was no Skype, no email, no phones no lights no motor cars, not a single luxury - Like Robinson Crusoe, it was primitive as can be. You know it's getting bad when you have to resort to quoting a mid 1960's TV show to get your point across. It was difficult to stay in contact with everyone. Back then the only people that had cell phones were people in prisons. Get it? Never mind.
Nowadays (do you realize that that is actually a word? It sounds like it should be a Bed & Breakfast: "Come to the Grand Opening of the Nowadays B & B. All the comforts of home except way more expensive". Now you know why I didn't go into the Advertising field). So, nowadays (the word, not the B&B) it is much easier to stay in touch with your loved ones - or for that matter those you can't stand. Just a call on the cell phone from almost anywhere, a text, an email, a Skype session, or my personal favorite...two tin cans connected with a string. Much less expensive, but the calling radius leaves a lot to be desired.
I am thinking of things to do while my wife is being held hostage in California. It would be easier if it was summertime but since there is still some snow on the ground yard work and mowing the lawn are out...darn! Going to the beach would be interesting. The good news is that there are no crowds. The bad news is once you go out there with only your bathing suit on you quickly find out why there are no crowds. Come to think of it, depending on how you look in the bathing suit, crowds may not be a problem in the summertime either! So I guess I'll just keep writing blogs until she gets home because there is obviously nothing to do here in the house. And now a quick note to my wife:
Sweetheart, you are coming home Friday, right? The reason I ask, Darling, is that the pizza boxes, dirty clothes, dishes and garbage need some attention, and you do such a good job at all of them that I hate to ruin a good thing for you. Plus I know how you really enjoy doing these things after you are done work - didn't you say it is relaxing? So because of that I'll just keep typing and leave all of this stuff to you.
And Honey, on your way home from the airport, at midnight, after your 12 hour flight with two layovers, would you stop at one of those 24 hour grocery stores? We're out of food. I know how you LOVE to shop, so what a great opportunity for you! This means you will get back home a little later but I'm willing to make the sacrifice of not seeing you as early as I would have liked...because I'm that kind of guy. I'm always looking out for you, aren't I? Wait, someone just told me that I had BETTER look out for you! I have no idea what they are talking about...love you!!!
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