What Was That Sound?

I was in a meeting room early this morning and heard what I thought was a very familiar sound...that of a snow blower.  After all it is winter and there is still probably 23 feet of snow on the lawn so naturally the noise I heard had to be that of a snow blower - right?  Wrong!  I looked outside and there, on the green lawn, was a gentleman running a lawn mower...a LAWN MOWER!  How can this be?!?  I must be dreaming.  Then it hit me.  I am in Dallas Texas and the temperature is a balmy 70 degrees!  During the rest of this blog I will try not to gloat, but there is no guarantee that this will actually happen.

You see, when we left from Hartford for Dallas it was snowing with three inches of snow on the ground and counting.  Not only did we escape winter (for a few days) we ended up going to a state that has never even heard of a snow blower...my kind of place!  The warmer the better.  Give me 95 degrees with moderate humidity verses 13 degrees with a wind chill of -22.  The argument I always hear is "well, you can always put more clothes on, go inside and warm up, but there isn't much you can do about the heat".  Au contraire mon frere.  (I speak fluent Swedish as you can no doubt tell.) My argument is exactly the opposite...you can always cool off but you can't always warm up.  You see, it's very easy to take a few layers of clothes off (but don't go overboard - you know who you are).  However I for one am sick of putting on layer after layer of clothing just to keep my core body temperature at a level that prevents my blood from clogging my veins with ice crystals.  It can happen...don't doubt me.  And then having to go outside looking like the Michelin Man...no, thank you.  By the way, did I tell you that it is 70 degrees here?  Sorry, so not gloating.


When we were on the tarmac at the airport the airplane had about two inches of snow on its wings.  Hang on a minute...tarmac?  What kind of word is "tarmac"?  It either sounds like someone spelled a word backwards (Camrat: (n) One whose use of camcorders has elevated to the obsessive level) or it is an acronym for something.  Let's see...TARMAC: Technically Advanced Robots Marking Accurate Collateral, or how about This Air Really Makes Amazing Climate?  Yes, the latter is an odd way of gloating about the weather here...live with it!  Anyhow, back to the plane.  De Plane, De Plane!!!  If you remember this reference you were watching too much TV in the late 70's...but I digress, once again.  The plane began to back out of the terminal with snow on its wings.  I thought "this can't be good".  Then I thought "I'm sure that at 400 MPH the snow will more than likely blow off" - not thinking that to get to 400 MPH the plane would actually have to take off...something that probably wouldn't happen with two inches of snow on its wings.  I obviously wasn't thinking rationally...22 degrees and blinding snow will do that to you.  They then came out and de-iced the plane and we were on our way.


Needless to say I am thinking very clearly now.  Want to know why?  I would tell you but the answer, the fact that it is 70 degrees here and going up to the upper 70's as the week progresses, would sound like I'm gloating and you KNOW I would never do that.  So crank up the heat and I'll see you soon. What's that? Drinks on the veranda? Be right there...BWAHAHAHA!!!