Hot Enough For You?

Right now the entire country is in the midst of a heat wave...with the exception of course of Seattle, where it never gets above 68 degrees anyway.  I know, I know it does but this is a blog, remember?  And blogs are notorious for having inaccurate information in them.  All except mine of course.  Back to the heat.  Friday Connecticut set an all-time record with a high temperature of 103 degrees.  If you add the humidity to that it felt like about 211 degrees - not quite boiling, but very close.  The temperature was recorded at Bradley International Airport which, as George Carlin used to say, is stupid because I don't know anyone who lives at the airport!  But I suppose you need somewhere to keep the official stats so someone chose the airport.  Why not downtown?  If you are looking for sensationalism in the weather then I'm sure that the temperature in any downtown area is at least 10 degrees higher than the airport.  Am I the only one that thinks of these things?  I'm beginning to scare myself...

I wonder how the airport got chosen in the first place.  My guess is a bunch of meteorologists stood around a map, threw a dart, and it landed on an airport.  (A little known fact; that is also the way that most forecasters predict the weather, via the Weather Dartboard.  These can only be purchased at a very expensive super secret online weather-type website.  Once you graduate from Meteorology School they give you the website address, you purchase the dartboard and then you too can predict the weather with the same accuracy as every other meteorologist.  Speaking of school, I'm fairly certain the class that taught you how to just look out the window was cancelled.)

As you may know I love the hot weather.  I would still rather have it 103 degrees and dripping with humidity than 10 below zero with a wind chill of minus fingers and toes.  And don't give me the old line "It's easier to get warm than it is to get cold".  Baloney - and any other 8 letter word beginning with B that you can think of.  Get into air conditioning...go swimming...go to the beach...take a few layers of clothing off, being careful to leave at least one layer on if you catch my drift.

One of my favorite lines having to do with the weather is someone walking up to you and saying "hot enough for you?" I would love to tell someone "no, as a matter of fact I want it so hot that chickens will lay fried eggs.  And cows will give evaporated milk.  And corn stalks turn into popcorn.  And my thermometer reads ARE YOU KIDDING ME???"  Hot weather?  Bring it on!  I want it so hot that the politicians have to take their hands out of our pockets to fan themselves...but I don't think it can get that hot on earth!

Okay, enough of the (pop)corny jokes.  Remember last winter?  Remember having to shovel tons and tons of snow?  Remember the bone-chilling cold?  Give me the sunny, hot and humid days of summer.  And if you feel the need to remind yourself of the cold weather, do what I do - go to the beach and build a snowman in the sand.  Would that then be a sandman?  Either way, enjoy the weather.  And if you yearn for cold weather, head north and take a right...Greenland is waiting for you.

Birthdays

I chose this topic because it is one of those things that everyone has...so I decided to write about it.  Why now?  Okay, as self-promoting as this sounds, today is my birthday, so what better day to write about birthdays?  At least it was my birthday when I began to write this back a week or so ago. How old am I?  Why is it okay to ask men that question but not women?  What do you mean I'm avoiding the question???  The answer is 261 if you believe the first blog I wrote, and I look fantastic too!  The real answer is...wait for it...55.  The old Double Nickel for those of you that are CB fanatics.  The speed limit from Greenwich to New Haven on Rt. 95...if  anyone actually reaches 55 on that stretch of road let me know - there's a first time for everything.  The sum of the numbers 1 to 10.  That's fairly cool, eh?  It is the atomic number for caesium (don't ask, I have no clue).  In gallons it would be a 55 gallon drum - which has nothing to do with me unless I gain a few more pounds.

So what's with birthdays anyway?  Kids for the most part love them, adults for the most part, not so much.  So why do we put so much emphasis on that one day of the year if most adults don't really want to be reminded that they are a year older?  I used to work with a woman that was turning 30 and she was a basket case.  She did NOT want anyone to remind her of her birthday.  There is a very easy answer to this type of attitude towards birthdays and that is - what is the alternative?  So what you are getting older?  Even though some people don't like being the center of attention, and I can understand that, to go overboard with it is, well, selfish to a certain extent.  I've always thought that way, but the point was brought home to me in a big way some 7 1/2 years ago.

Want to change your attitude towards having a birthday and being a year older?  Talk to a survivor of a life threatening disease like my wife and I guarantee you won't hear "don't remind me that I'm a year older".  Again, what's the alternative?  Part of life is getting older and if you are lucky you will have a ton of those birthday-things over the course of your life, and even if you aren't fond of them take a moment to thank God that you are still around to have another one.

Okay, off of my soap box.  We recently all chipped in at work and bought lottery tickets because the jackpot was up to something like One Hundred Bazillion dollars.  I figured it out...if we won each one of us would have had about $37,000 after taxes...way to go, Uncle Sam!  That still would have been a great birthday present!  But alas, we did not win (what a surprise).  Think of the things I could have purchased.  For those of you who don't want to have a repeat of the Winter of 2010-2011 I could have bought a snow blower, which, if you've been following along, would assure that we would have no plowable snow in 2011-2012.  But I have not purchased a snow blower so good luck this winter!  However, feel free to contribute to the "Let's End Winter And Give Money To Tom So He Can Buy A Snow Blower" fund which is a non-profit fund because, as you probably already know, there is no profit  in it!  That's enough about winter...ew.

Aren't birthday parties fun?  There are some similarities between kids and adult birthday parties such as a cake with candles, the singing of  "Happy Birthday" and some presents...although the presents vary big time from a kid to an adult, as you know.  One thing you may not know is that the song "Happy Birthday" is copyrighted.  Think about that the next time you sing it at a party and the police break the door down and haul you away in handcuffs.  (Handcuffs actually might be a fine gift at an adult party, but I digress...)  The chances of the police locking you up and throwing away the key are slim, though.  Unless you sing the song in a public or a commercial venue, in which case they have every right to taser you, make you change into an orange jumpsuit and sweat it out on death row.  I'll bet you had no clue the penalties for singing in public were this stiff.  Actually they aren't, although there are a few people I know that should be locked away if they dare sing anything out loud if you catch my drift.  The death penalty may be a bit harsh for them, but maybe life in prison would work...with the possibility of parole.  After all, to not offer parole would be cruel and unusual punishment!

So when your birthday rolls around please let me know, and I will get you the same thing you got me.  Oh, I'm sorry, did I say that out loud?

Happy Independence Day!

Quick quiz...does England have a 4th of July?  Answer: yes, the day after the 3rd and the day before the 5th.  They're just not into the celebration aspect of the day, if you catch my drift.

July 4, 1776 - Congress adopted the Declaration of Independence, one of the two most amazing documents ever to be written by a group of individuals, the other being the US Constitution.  The men that drew up the Declaration of Independence and later signed the document pledged their "lives, fortunes and sacred honor" in agreeing to break away from English rule.  Many of the 56 signers lost everything, and these were for the most part wealthy men.  Even knowing that to sign the document was treason in the eyes of the British, with the punishment being death by hanging, not one of these men went back on their word.  These were not crazy men but rather very sober in their thoughts of how a people should be governed.  Nine of these men died during the war that ensued.

A lot has changed in the 240 years since the original "July 4th" but some things remain the same.  We are still a free people thanks in no small part to the men and women of our military who continue to protect us "against all enemies, foreign and domestic".  Just as the signers of the Declaration of Independence pledged their lives to the cause of freedom so to do the members of our military, and we owe them a huge debt of gratitude.

Our republic is still run by a government with a genius system of checks and balances.  My only concern about the government is that the size and scope of it has gotten way out of hand.  Even though it is still the best system in the world, if government does not reign in the spending there could come a day when we will tell our children and grandchildren how it used to be here in America, something that I for one refuse to let happen.  I also see our freedoms slowly eroding away, one by one.  In order to be a truly independent people we need to be free of over-taxation.  We need to revert back to a government that does not intrude in every aspect of our lives, and one that ultimately is not in debt to the tune of over $154,000 per taxpayer in the United States.  This can be done in a number of ways, not the least of which is through the voting booth.  I know We The People can do that.

The summer is my favorite time of the year and the 4th of July holiday is one of my favorite holidays. Not to mention that July is my birthday month.  Yes, much to the chagrin of a few people I do indeed have a birthday month!

So here's wishing everyone a Happy Independence Day.  And if for some reason you're not in a very patriotic mood, listen to Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the U.S.A."  What a song!  Okay, so fire up the barbecue and eat up, America, because July 4th is hereby designated as a "Calorie-Free Day"!  God Bless the USA.