Hot Enough For You?

Right now the entire country is in the midst of a heat wave...with the exception of course of Seattle, where it never gets above 68 degrees anyway.  I know, I know it does but this is a blog, remember?  And blogs are notorious for having inaccurate information in them.  All except mine of course.  Back to the heat.  Friday Connecticut set an all-time record with a high temperature of 103 degrees.  If you add the humidity to that it felt like about 211 degrees - not quite boiling, but very close.  The temperature was recorded at Bradley International Airport which, as George Carlin used to say, is stupid because I don't know anyone who lives at the airport!  But I suppose you need somewhere to keep the official stats so someone chose the airport.  Why not downtown?  If you are looking for sensationalism in the weather then I'm sure that the temperature in any downtown area is at least 10 degrees higher than the airport.  Am I the only one that thinks of these things?  I'm beginning to scare myself...

I wonder how the airport got chosen in the first place.  My guess is a bunch of meteorologists stood around a map, threw a dart, and it landed on an airport.  (A little known fact; that is also the way that most forecasters predict the weather, via the Weather Dartboard.  These can only be purchased at a very expensive super secret online weather-type website.  Once you graduate from Meteorology School they give you the website address, you purchase the dartboard and then you too can predict the weather with the same accuracy as every other meteorologist.  Speaking of school, I'm fairly certain the class that taught you how to just look out the window was cancelled.)

As you may know I love the hot weather.  I would still rather have it 103 degrees and dripping with humidity than 10 below zero with a wind chill of minus fingers and toes.  And don't give me the old line "It's easier to get warm than it is to get cold".  Baloney - and any other 8 letter word beginning with B that you can think of.  Get into air conditioning...go swimming...go to the beach...take a few layers of clothing off, being careful to leave at least one layer on if you catch my drift.

One of my favorite lines having to do with the weather is someone walking up to you and saying "hot enough for you?" I would love to tell someone "no, as a matter of fact I want it so hot that chickens will lay fried eggs.  And cows will give evaporated milk.  And corn stalks turn into popcorn.  And my thermometer reads ARE YOU KIDDING ME???"  Hot weather?  Bring it on!  I want it so hot that the politicians have to take their hands out of our pockets to fan themselves...but I don't think it can get that hot on earth!

Okay, enough of the (pop)corny jokes.  Remember last winter?  Remember having to shovel tons and tons of snow?  Remember the bone-chilling cold?  Give me the sunny, hot and humid days of summer.  And if you feel the need to remind yourself of the cold weather, do what I do - go to the beach and build a snowman in the sand.  Would that then be a sandman?  Either way, enjoy the weather.  And if you yearn for cold weather, head north and take a right...Greenland is waiting for you.