So I get home today and am greeted with a letter from the State of CT Department of Revenue Services. Is it ever good news when you get a letter from the CT equivalent of the beloved IRS? I think not. The letter is titled "Property Tax Credit Overstated Refund Issued". Huh? Long story short, the state screwed up on the instructions to calculate the property tax credit so now about 7% of CT residents (we're one of the "lucky" ones) have to pay back money to the DRS after we already received our refunds. I laughed out loud when I went on their website and in their press release they state that "When we make a mistake, we own it and fix it immediately". This press release was issued on a Friday of course because there is less chance of people hearing about it at the end of the week. The name for that is a "news dump" and is a standard practice throughout the media when a company (or in this case a State) has bad news to report. I'm just a walking encyclopedia of information, aren't I? I'm showing my age...make that a walking Wikipedia of information!
So they "own it" eh? If you own the mistake doesn't that mean that you also own everything associated with the mistake? Maybe I should send the DRS an invoice for $90 for my pain and suffering over receiving their letter and call it even...isn't that what people do nowadays? But of course if they were to "own it" and forgive the money that everyone owes that would just add to the $500 Million deficit. They actually said that we can either pay this now or we can wait until we file our 2016 state taxes and include it then. Wow, you guys are awesome! Of course if you do neither you will be subject to fines and penalties...in other words, pay me now or pay me later!
Just how much did this little mess up cost? Between $11 to $12 Million in underpaid taxes. That's a lot of $90 invoices. So I will write a check to the DRS and be done with it. I could be cynical and mention that our state is either near or at the bottom of virtually every "Best State To..." list but I won't go that far. Don't get me wrong, I love this state, but this little snafu just adds another bad check mark to an already lousy reputation for the state. I promised myself when I first started writing this that I would not get too political, so allow me to give you the definition of insanity...doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Or in other words, voting for the same people over and over and expecting things to get better. It's fairly obvious that hasn't happened.
Wow, I just re-read this blog and it is a real downer. So let's end this with some good news, shall we? Um, okay, you go first!
Wednesday, April 6, 2016
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
There is a Reason for Everything
Did you ever wonder if you made the right move? I don't mean in the small stuff like putting too many mushrooms in the spaghetti sauce (which, by the way, is NEVER a good thing)! I'm talking about life changing decisions that may affect the future for months and years to come. These decisions are not come to lightly nor should they be. It is reassuring, however, when one of these decisions is made and you have a peace about you that suggests you did the right thing.
My wife Madonna (or Donna to those of us who have known her longer than microwave ovens have been around...yea, we're that old) recently made a decision to resign from her job at a non-profit organization. This decision was made after much soul searching, discussions between us, and prayer. I know the decision was a tough one for her to make because it has been her passion to reach out to those women and families affected by ovarian cancer as she is a survivor of the disease herself. Many of you may already know some of the following details but indulge me as I briefly mention a few of them again.
Madonna's cancer journey began on my mother's birthday, August 10, 2003 when she was found to have "some sort of a growth or tumor in her abdomen". This growth ended up being ovarian cancer, something we had never encountered in our lives. Likewise with the unrelated uterine cancer they discovered during the operation for the ovarian cancer. As with anyone else who has encountered cancer in their lives we were changed forever as a result of the diagnosis. I would say that she was one of the lucky ones if I believed that, which I don't, as I fully believe that the power of prayer saved her life. Plus God had other things in mind for her!
Fast forward to July of 2009 when Madonna founded the CT Chapter of the National Ovarian Cancer Coalition (NOCC), volunteering her time and efforts to spread the word on ovarian cancer and its signs and symptoms. Then there were the three appearances on the Dr. Oz show (I can see about getting you her autograph but you may not be able to afford it...I know I can't). Then finally going to work full time for the NOCC national where she reached out to hospitals across the United States setting up programs to distribute literature and comfort items to newly diagnosed women.
Which brings us to today and her resignation from her job. Is it a coincidence that her father, who has Parkinson's Disease, will be moving in with us this weekend, and her last day of work is this Friday? Actually yes it is, but as the title of this blog suggests, there is a reason for everything, so in that respect it is not a coincidence. Over the past few months Pop's symptoms have become a little more pronounced, and even though he's in no real big hurry to move he knows it is the best thing for him, and so do we. We now believe that God has His hand on the situation and starting Sunday my wife will be a big part of the plan.
There is a Reason for Everything. Madonna has volunteered in the chemo wards comforting women and families while they go through the unthinkable. She has appeared on Dr. Oz in front of millions of people; I joked about that earlier but those appearances were no small feat. I am certain that her appearance on one of those shows saved many lives. Just how many we won't know this side of Paradise, but one day we'll find out. Her work at the NOCC over the past years, taking a program from its infancy to over 200 hospitals nationwide, was an accomplishment to be proud of. Oh, and did I mention that she is a survivor herself? I think I did! Now the next chapter of our lives begins. To quote Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose".
There is a reason why we met back in 1974 at the most romantic spot in all of Eastern CT, the NFA cafeteria (she just smiled at me, giggled and said "Hi, I thought your name was Eddie!"), there is a reason why we were married in 1977, there is a reason why we endured her cancer journey, there is a reason why she founded the CT Chapter of the NOCC, there is a reason why she volunteered with so many ovarian cancer patients, some of whom became good friends and have since passed on from the disease, and there is a reason why her dad is moving in with us. And there are many reasons why I love this woman, my best friend and companion, too numerous to mention. Suffice it to say the the next chapter begins Sunday for this beautiful caregiver and I look forward to it, and to watching her do what she does best...spreading her love and compassion with those in need, even it it happens to be her dad. I am so proud of what you've done babe, and what you are about to do. To quote my mom, I'm glad "I chased you until you caught me!" And what a catch that was! After all, There is a Reason for Everything, right?
My wife Madonna (or Donna to those of us who have known her longer than microwave ovens have been around...yea, we're that old) recently made a decision to resign from her job at a non-profit organization. This decision was made after much soul searching, discussions between us, and prayer. I know the decision was a tough one for her to make because it has been her passion to reach out to those women and families affected by ovarian cancer as she is a survivor of the disease herself. Many of you may already know some of the following details but indulge me as I briefly mention a few of them again.
Madonna's cancer journey began on my mother's birthday, August 10, 2003 when she was found to have "some sort of a growth or tumor in her abdomen". This growth ended up being ovarian cancer, something we had never encountered in our lives. Likewise with the unrelated uterine cancer they discovered during the operation for the ovarian cancer. As with anyone else who has encountered cancer in their lives we were changed forever as a result of the diagnosis. I would say that she was one of the lucky ones if I believed that, which I don't, as I fully believe that the power of prayer saved her life. Plus God had other things in mind for her!
Fast forward to July of 2009 when Madonna founded the CT Chapter of the National Ovarian Cancer Coalition (NOCC), volunteering her time and efforts to spread the word on ovarian cancer and its signs and symptoms. Then there were the three appearances on the Dr. Oz show (I can see about getting you her autograph but you may not be able to afford it...I know I can't). Then finally going to work full time for the NOCC national where she reached out to hospitals across the United States setting up programs to distribute literature and comfort items to newly diagnosed women.
Which brings us to today and her resignation from her job. Is it a coincidence that her father, who has Parkinson's Disease, will be moving in with us this weekend, and her last day of work is this Friday? Actually yes it is, but as the title of this blog suggests, there is a reason for everything, so in that respect it is not a coincidence. Over the past few months Pop's symptoms have become a little more pronounced, and even though he's in no real big hurry to move he knows it is the best thing for him, and so do we. We now believe that God has His hand on the situation and starting Sunday my wife will be a big part of the plan.
There is a Reason for Everything. Madonna has volunteered in the chemo wards comforting women and families while they go through the unthinkable. She has appeared on Dr. Oz in front of millions of people; I joked about that earlier but those appearances were no small feat. I am certain that her appearance on one of those shows saved many lives. Just how many we won't know this side of Paradise, but one day we'll find out. Her work at the NOCC over the past years, taking a program from its infancy to over 200 hospitals nationwide, was an accomplishment to be proud of. Oh, and did I mention that she is a survivor herself? I think I did! Now the next chapter of our lives begins. To quote Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose".
There is a reason why we met back in 1974 at the most romantic spot in all of Eastern CT, the NFA cafeteria (she just smiled at me, giggled and said "Hi, I thought your name was Eddie!"), there is a reason why we were married in 1977, there is a reason why we endured her cancer journey, there is a reason why she founded the CT Chapter of the NOCC, there is a reason why she volunteered with so many ovarian cancer patients, some of whom became good friends and have since passed on from the disease, and there is a reason why her dad is moving in with us. And there are many reasons why I love this woman, my best friend and companion, too numerous to mention. Suffice it to say the the next chapter begins Sunday for this beautiful caregiver and I look forward to it, and to watching her do what she does best...spreading her love and compassion with those in need, even it it happens to be her dad. I am so proud of what you've done babe, and what you are about to do. To quote my mom, I'm glad "I chased you until you caught me!" And what a catch that was! After all, There is a Reason for Everything, right?
Monday, November 16, 2015
Just Say No.
Normally when I set out to write a blog it is about things that happen in our lives that we can all find some humor in. This is not one of those blogs. Governor Dannel Malloy, the Governor of our State of Connecticut just made the following statement, according to Channel 3 Eyewitness News: "If refugees – many who are children fleeing a horrific, war-torn country
– seek and are granted asylum after a rigorous security process, we
should and will welcome them in Connecticut".
I wholeheartedly disagree with the Governor, and apparently the vast majority of the citizens of Connecticut do too. Channel 3 did a poll to ask: Do you agree with Governor Malloy's decision to allow Syrian refugees in Connecticut? So far a whopping 91% disagree with his decision. So much for representing the wishes of your citizens. As of the writing of this blog 17 governors of other states have said they will not accept refugees in their state, and the list is growing.
The Governor mentioned that many of these refugees are children, but he neglected to mention that many of them are young men who are at the age that either can or have been influenced by organizations such as ISIS, some of which I am convinced are terrorists themselves. The number might be a small percentage but are you willing to take the chance that an ISIS cell began here in CT because our Governor was very hospitable towards a war-torn country? I for one am not. I do feel badly for the legitimate victims of the war, but I am not willing to surrender the future security of my family for a kind gesture that could end up backfiring, to put it mildly.
The Governor also mentioned if they (the refugees) "...are granted asylum after a rigorous security process..." What kind of "security process" is going to occur...what kind of a vetting process will that be? Are government workers in DC going to call Damascus and ask them for these peoples' papers? Do you really think the government of Syria would drop everything to do this, especially since the nation is in the midst of a civil war? My prediction? If our government vets these people at all, and I am in no way convinced they will even make the attempt, the government of Syria will rubber stamp every one of them to expedite the process. If I don't trust our government with this process then I certainly don't trust a government from a foreign country.
Governor Malloy, your first duty as Governor of Connecticut is to keep its citizens safe, because without that you no longer have a state. The ramifications of what you are proposing could bring grave consequences to your citizens...have you even thought about that? Or are you too busy shoring up your favor with the Democratic National Committee for future considerations, because that is exactly what it sounds like to me. Just keep the party line going without any thought of what happens in the future, except of course what Cabinet position you may be appointed to if a Democrat wins the next presidential election.
I know some people will disagree with me and that's fine - that's part of what makes this country great. That is of course until Sharia Law is enacted. If you are not familiar with that term you had better Google it because there are some Muslims here in the United States unwilling to assimilate to our way of life, and want to impose their backwards system of laws onto us, circumventing our Constitution. There are a few of our judges that have begun using Sharia Law as a basis for their rulings from the bench. That is disgusting and any judge willing to do that should be impeached. If you a citizen or looking to be a citizen of our great nation then do so the proper way and leave that portion of your life back in the country you fled.
I promised myself this would only be a paragraph and apparently I broke my promise. Oh well, I'm in a mood so blame it on that! Or better yet, blame it on the Governor!
I wholeheartedly disagree with the Governor, and apparently the vast majority of the citizens of Connecticut do too. Channel 3 did a poll to ask: Do you agree with Governor Malloy's decision to allow Syrian refugees in Connecticut? So far a whopping 91% disagree with his decision. So much for representing the wishes of your citizens. As of the writing of this blog 17 governors of other states have said they will not accept refugees in their state, and the list is growing.
The Governor mentioned that many of these refugees are children, but he neglected to mention that many of them are young men who are at the age that either can or have been influenced by organizations such as ISIS, some of which I am convinced are terrorists themselves. The number might be a small percentage but are you willing to take the chance that an ISIS cell began here in CT because our Governor was very hospitable towards a war-torn country? I for one am not. I do feel badly for the legitimate victims of the war, but I am not willing to surrender the future security of my family for a kind gesture that could end up backfiring, to put it mildly.
The Governor also mentioned if they (the refugees) "...are granted asylum after a rigorous security process..." What kind of "security process" is going to occur...what kind of a vetting process will that be? Are government workers in DC going to call Damascus and ask them for these peoples' papers? Do you really think the government of Syria would drop everything to do this, especially since the nation is in the midst of a civil war? My prediction? If our government vets these people at all, and I am in no way convinced they will even make the attempt, the government of Syria will rubber stamp every one of them to expedite the process. If I don't trust our government with this process then I certainly don't trust a government from a foreign country.
Governor Malloy, your first duty as Governor of Connecticut is to keep its citizens safe, because without that you no longer have a state. The ramifications of what you are proposing could bring grave consequences to your citizens...have you even thought about that? Or are you too busy shoring up your favor with the Democratic National Committee for future considerations, because that is exactly what it sounds like to me. Just keep the party line going without any thought of what happens in the future, except of course what Cabinet position you may be appointed to if a Democrat wins the next presidential election.
I know some people will disagree with me and that's fine - that's part of what makes this country great. That is of course until Sharia Law is enacted. If you are not familiar with that term you had better Google it because there are some Muslims here in the United States unwilling to assimilate to our way of life, and want to impose their backwards system of laws onto us, circumventing our Constitution. There are a few of our judges that have begun using Sharia Law as a basis for their rulings from the bench. That is disgusting and any judge willing to do that should be impeached. If you a citizen or looking to be a citizen of our great nation then do so the proper way and leave that portion of your life back in the country you fled.
I promised myself this would only be a paragraph and apparently I broke my promise. Oh well, I'm in a mood so blame it on that! Or better yet, blame it on the Governor!
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
The Primitive Bathroom
If you had asked me what a primitive bathroom was before this project began I would have told you an outhouse would probably be a great example. Can't get much more primitive than that, with the possible exception of going in the woods, but that is for another blog (betcha can't wait for THAT one, can you)??? It seems the idea of a primitive bathroom, or PB for short, is to make things look old but function as a normal bathroom would. A normal functioning bathroom is a good idea because the thought of me getting a bucket of water from the creek 5 times a day is not too appealing, especially considering that the nearest creek is about 1/4 mile away. I suppose I could just siphon some water from my neighbor's pool but he may frown on that.
The bathroom did need to be redone so this project didn't come out of the blue. Want to hear a good example of the difference between how men and women think? Me: the bathroom needs to be painted, possibly change a fixture or two and clean up some mold on the window. My wife: yes, that's correct, but I was thinking that we could change just a few other things, like paint the ceiling, replace the bathroom fan, change all of the bathtub fixtures, replace the shower curtain rod, put up wainscoting then paint it, put in a new floor, refinish the vanity, replace the mirror, get a new medicine cabinet, new lights, new toilet paper holder, new bathroom window, new door trim, new hooks for towels, and install a vessel sink & water pump faucet. Can you see my dilemma? I know the guys do!
Out of everything listed here a "vessel sink" is something that I was not familiar with. (However, I am very familiar now so if you have any questions feel free to ask.) Apparently an integral part of a PB is a vessel sink, because one can't have something that looks normal in a PB bathroom with the exception of the toilet because, well, just a hole in the floor wouldn't cut it if you catch my drift. And I don't think The Architect would approve of it either. For those of you who are primitive-bathroom-challenged a vessel sink is a large bowl that sits on top of a vanity with its companion the old fashioned water pump faucet. I posted a picture of it above to give you an idea of just what I'm talking about. By the way, not listed in the "new" stuff my wife mentioned above is the plumbing below the vessel sink...yeah, that was enjoyable.
If anyone were to ask me my opinion now on how to construct a PB my advice would be to purchase a huge chunk of styrofoam the size of your bathroom, shove it in there, hollow it out to like a cave and paint it black, red, brown or any other primitive color. Done. Actually, the easiest thing to do would be to move to a home that already has a PB...I know a house in Canterbury that has such a bathroom and can now be purchased for around $1,000,000 or so. Not that the new things in the PB were that expensive, but the cost of labor was ridiculous!
Friday, May 22, 2015
Happy Memorial Day!
Happy Memorial Day! Just a quick blog about this important holiday we celebrate this weekend. Many Americans will be traveling on this long holiday weekend. There will be many parties, cookouts and times of fellowship. During all of this I hope everyone takes a moment to realize the reason we celebrate Memorial Day and what it actually means. This holiday is to remember those in the military who have lost their lives defending our freedom; those who have made the ultimate sacrifice, as well as those servicemen and women who have passed on before us.
The mere fact that I am able to write a blog such as this to express my opinions is a direct result of the brave members of our armed forces who have fought and died for this privilege - that of free speech. This freedom and many others must never be taken for granted. There are those among us today who think nothing of slowly eroding the freedoms that our forefathers shed their blood for, and that burns me more than you
can imagine.
During this holiday I think of my father, who was in the Navy during World War II. He was on a munitions ship in the Pacific Ocean, and although he did tell me a few stories about his life in the military I would have loved to hear more about it from him, but he has been gone for many years. My father in law was in the Marines at the end of the Korean War and he has shared some stories of that time with me. I cherish the times that we speak, as well as the times my father and I spoke. As I grow older I have a deeper understanding of what it means to be a member of the military and the sacrifices they as well as their families make on a daily basis.
During the festivities this weekend take some time to say a prayer for those families for whom this Memorial Day is especially poignant - those who have lost a family member in the defense of our country. Those families realize the true meaning of the holiday. If you know a "Gold Star" family such as this, reach out to them this weekend, even if it's to just say you're thinking about them.
So knowing the meaning of Memorial Day, should you thank a current or past member of the armed forces today? Absolutely. Not only today but anytime you think to do that. So just to name a few, thanks to my good friend Jim in Florida, my father in law, and of course my son Justin, and the many other men and women who are currently serving. But let’s not forget the real meaning of the holiday. So have fun, enjoy the weekend, say a quick prayer, and have a hot dog for me!
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
The Incredible Shrinking Driveway
I don't mind a little cold weather, like 60 degrees. Anything below that is inhumane...period. I blame the cold on the thermometers. Here's my theory - way back when, before the dreaded thermometers, the weather here in CT was about 75-80 degrees all year round. But, because the stinking thermometers say that it is -5 degrees the weather must cooperate and thus it becomes -5 degrees. Who programs these lousy thermometers anyway? I have proof that it is all a conspiracy. The word "degrees" - did you know that originally the word started out as "decrees"? That is how the thermometers were given the power to affect the temperature and thus the weather. It wasn't until some lunkhead (probably Mr. Thermo) went ahead and invented these insidious devices that we have the unbearable weather we now enjoy.
Because of the (say the next word in the most sarcastic way possible) THERMOMETERS and the accompanying weather I now have a driveway that is about 2/3 of its normal size. Why? Because there is nowhere to put the snow! Mr. Thermo, don't let me meet you in a dark alley anytime soon - I'm getting fairly good at wielding a snow shovel as I've achieved the level of Black Belt just this year. Be afraid, be very afraid.
Of course I know that most of New England has the same problem I have, but to quote Rhett Butler, "Frankly my dear..." You know the rest. A quick aside: the last sentence has the words "New England" and "Butler" in it. I now expect to get well over 100,000 hits on the blog from people looking for stories about the Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots and the hero of the game Malcolm Butler! I'll take any help I can get. And now in my best anchorman voice, "now back to the weather!"
Up to this point I have been hesitant to mention the words "snow blower" because there is a certain faction of people out there that believe that if I actually purchase one the snow will magically stop falling for the remainder of the winter. That might be true...I bought a new generator and the power has not gone out once since I got it...last week. But speaking of purchases, quite possibly the best purchase I have ever made was when we first moved into our house and I bought some Elephant Repellent...man, that stuff works great!
Because of the (say the next word in the most sarcastic way possible) THERMOMETERS and the accompanying weather I now have a driveway that is about 2/3 of its normal size. Why? Because there is nowhere to put the snow! Mr. Thermo, don't let me meet you in a dark alley anytime soon - I'm getting fairly good at wielding a snow shovel as I've achieved the level of Black Belt just this year. Be afraid, be very afraid.
Of course I know that most of New England has the same problem I have, but to quote Rhett Butler, "Frankly my dear..." You know the rest. A quick aside: the last sentence has the words "New England" and "Butler" in it. I now expect to get well over 100,000 hits on the blog from people looking for stories about the Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots and the hero of the game Malcolm Butler! I'll take any help I can get. And now in my best anchorman voice, "now back to the weather!"
Up to this point I have been hesitant to mention the words "snow blower" because there is a certain faction of people out there that believe that if I actually purchase one the snow will magically stop falling for the remainder of the winter. That might be true...I bought a new generator and the power has not gone out once since I got it...last week. But speaking of purchases, quite possibly the best purchase I have ever made was when we first moved into our house and I bought some Elephant Repellent...man, that stuff works great!
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
"But at least it's not a heavy snow!"
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The Snow. Roughly two feet of that nasty white stuff. Raise your hands if you love the snow. Okay, now put your hands down so I can give you some medication, because it's obvious you need it.
Admit it, during this past storm did you actually utter the words "but at least it's not a heavy snow"? I'll bet that if you had to shovel it you didn't say it, nor did someone say it to you if you just came back from shoveling, say, for about four hours. It is the winter equivalent of telling someone in Scottsdale, Arizona "but it's a dry heat". Sure, it's 115 degrees in the shade but at least it's not humid. That makes me feel only a little less like a baked potato...which at this point would be much better than feeling like Olaf. If you don't know who that is may I suggest asking anyone under the age of 10, then prepare to be serenaded by the song "Do You Want to Build a Snowman?". I think Beethoven wrote the original score.
I went outside to do some shoveling (some...yea, right) but then I decided to do some exploring in my driveway to see what I could find. It took an hour or so but I found what appear to be two automobiles. I have decided to keep them and I have named them "Focus" and "PT Cruiser" for no apparent reason. I believe Focus is about 10 years old and PT Cruiser is about 8. I could tell their age by looking at their teeth - it was easier than cutting them in half and counting their rings.
Apparently some people have given up and want winter to come to a close. Even vehicles are giving up. I noticed around our neighborhood vehicles have their windshield wipers raised in the air. For those of you who don't know, this is the way that a vehicle shows it has given up...happens every snowstorm.
Last year we did not get much snow. This storm was the equalizer. So because of that I hereby declare that there should be no more snow this year...okay, this month...okay, this week. What's that? There are two more storms forecast for this week? Where's that medication I gave everyone earlier, I think I'll be needing it!
Wednesday, November 12, 2014
Don't Fall For It!
Fall. The season and the verb...I dislike them both. Did you know that autumn is nicknamed fall because of what the leaves do during this time of year? I have no idea if this is true but I have yet to hear of a better explanation. Speaking of fall and leaves, did you know that the average mature tree has about 250,000 leaves on it? Immature trees don't have that many because, well, they are immature and don't know any better.
When we first moved into our house we only had a few trees around so naturally we planted more trees, never thinking that one day they too would become mature and each would drop 250,000 leaves on my lawn. 250,000 - that's a quarter of a million leaves! PER TREE!!! Really makes you wish that at least one of them was that elusive money tree. If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? Sorry, that's one of those stupid jokes I have rattling around in my head and it slipped out via my fingers onto the keyboard. I'll try not to do that again. Yea, fat chance. Did you know that "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing? Again with the jokes...
I spent the better part of the weekend getting rid of approximately 2.5 million leaves using a leaf blower (works well until the wind blows), my lawn tractor (without a vacuum attachment) and the good ole fashion rake. Utilizing all three methods I was able to get all of the leaves into 18 separate piles of about 138,888 leaves each. No, I didn't actually count the leaves in the piles because much of the time the wind was blowing, and if I did hand count them the leaves would leave...the leaves would leave...please accept my sincerest apologies.
The next trick is picking up all of the piles and finding somewhere to get rid of them. Our recycling center, aka the dump here in town will take virtually anything, except brush and leaves. So I can't dump them at the dump. I'm even embarrassed at myself for that one. I could wait for spring but then I will have 18 spots with no grass which will look real attractive. So if anyone has any suggestions as to where I could make leave of the leaves that would be great. And at the same time please suggest how I can stop these lousy puns!
My wife and I were talking about some of the trees in the yard. A couple of them are either dead or dying so we were discussing taking some of the trees down. She pointed out the trees that she thought should be taken down. I disagreed with every one of her choices. Why? Because she wanted the dead trees cut down, and everyone knows that dead trees don't produce leaves!
When we first moved into our house we only had a few trees around so naturally we planted more trees, never thinking that one day they too would become mature and each would drop 250,000 leaves on my lawn. 250,000 - that's a quarter of a million leaves! PER TREE!!! Really makes you wish that at least one of them was that elusive money tree. If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? Sorry, that's one of those stupid jokes I have rattling around in my head and it slipped out via my fingers onto the keyboard. I'll try not to do that again. Yea, fat chance. Did you know that "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing? Again with the jokes...
I spent the better part of the weekend getting rid of approximately 2.5 million leaves using a leaf blower (works well until the wind blows), my lawn tractor (without a vacuum attachment) and the good ole fashion rake. Utilizing all three methods I was able to get all of the leaves into 18 separate piles of about 138,888 leaves each. No, I didn't actually count the leaves in the piles because much of the time the wind was blowing, and if I did hand count them the leaves would leave...the leaves would leave...please accept my sincerest apologies.
The next trick is picking up all of the piles and finding somewhere to get rid of them. Our recycling center, aka the dump here in town will take virtually anything, except brush and leaves. So I can't dump them at the dump. I'm even embarrassed at myself for that one. I could wait for spring but then I will have 18 spots with no grass which will look real attractive. So if anyone has any suggestions as to where I could make leave of the leaves that would be great. And at the same time please suggest how I can stop these lousy puns!
My wife and I were talking about some of the trees in the yard. A couple of them are either dead or dying so we were discussing taking some of the trees down. She pointed out the trees that she thought should be taken down. I disagreed with every one of her choices. Why? Because she wanted the dead trees cut down, and everyone knows that dead trees don't produce leaves!
Saturday, August 9, 2014
Minor Surgery
I have heard "minor surgery" defined as surgery that someone else is having. So by that definition I have never had minor surgery. Besides which, there are no bragging rights in minor surgery anyway so for the purposes of this blog let's suffice it to say that I have had many major surgeries. Since my childhood, when the hospitals were lit by candlelight and doctors still made house calls (one of those statements is actually true), I have had eight surgeries. I won't bore you with all the details, because if I did then I would have to listen to all of YOUR surgery stories (minor surgeries of course), but suffice it to say that five of the eight involved the removal of nasal polyps. Apparently I am very good at growing them, to be harvested at a later date, but enough of that. My latest two surgeries had to do with the eyes...cataract surgery.
First things first; the word is cataract, not catarac. If you have had this surgery and still cannot pronounce the word correctly, it does not count as a surgery for you (minor surgery of course) and you therefore lose all rights to talk about it. I just survived my second cataract surgery and I am thankful for one thing - that I am not a mother, because if I were I would still have two more eyes to go. Anyone who has been a child and was caught doing something wrong by your mother while her head was turned knows exactly what I am talking about.
I spoke to a number of different people about cataract surgery and most of their responses were something like "it's no problem, 10 minutes and you're done". Technically that is true, but since they all had minor surgery I knew they could not relate to what I was about to go through...major surgery, twice! The Cliff Notes version of the operation is to remove the lens in your eye and replace it with another lens which will allow you to see better. Over three million of these minor surgeries are done annually with only two this year considered to be major surgery, both of which were mine.
If you decide to have this minor surgery performed, know this...eye drops will take over your world beginning three days prior to surgery and a month afterwards. In my case I had three different eye drops, one to be taken once a day, one three times a day and one four times a day. And, if you have both eyes done within two weeks of each other as I did, you can double the eye drop schedule. I am currently patenting a hat which when worn will apply eye drops at a predetermined time to a predetermined eye. So far all it does is spray you in the face, which is fine as long as you have only one eye open and your mouth shut, which, for many people, is nearly impossible (the mouth shut part...you know who you are).
I am going to end this blog for the evening until tomorrow, because my left eye is still dilated after my latest major surgery and thus I cannot tell if the surgery worked or if the doctor just needed a new Lamborghini.
Back again, eye no longer dilated...which is good because having only one eye dilated, a ton of people came up to me asking if I had a traumatic brain injury. I told them no worse than normal - they left me alone after that. Anyway, I can see a little better out of my eye, as opposed to, oh I don't know, seeing a little better out of my elbow. So my suggestion to you if you ever need cataract surgery is to get used to using the eye drops. I think the doctor told me if I didn't use them that my eyes would explode, or something like that. And of course you have nothing to be worried about, seeing as how you will only be having minor surgery.
First things first; the word is cataract, not catarac. If you have had this surgery and still cannot pronounce the word correctly, it does not count as a surgery for you (minor surgery of course) and you therefore lose all rights to talk about it. I just survived my second cataract surgery and I am thankful for one thing - that I am not a mother, because if I were I would still have two more eyes to go. Anyone who has been a child and was caught doing something wrong by your mother while her head was turned knows exactly what I am talking about.
I spoke to a number of different people about cataract surgery and most of their responses were something like "it's no problem, 10 minutes and you're done". Technically that is true, but since they all had minor surgery I knew they could not relate to what I was about to go through...major surgery, twice! The Cliff Notes version of the operation is to remove the lens in your eye and replace it with another lens which will allow you to see better. Over three million of these minor surgeries are done annually with only two this year considered to be major surgery, both of which were mine.
If you decide to have this minor surgery performed, know this...eye drops will take over your world beginning three days prior to surgery and a month afterwards. In my case I had three different eye drops, one to be taken once a day, one three times a day and one four times a day. And, if you have both eyes done within two weeks of each other as I did, you can double the eye drop schedule. I am currently patenting a hat which when worn will apply eye drops at a predetermined time to a predetermined eye. So far all it does is spray you in the face, which is fine as long as you have only one eye open and your mouth shut, which, for many people, is nearly impossible (the mouth shut part...you know who you are).
I am going to end this blog for the evening until tomorrow, because my left eye is still dilated after my latest major surgery and thus I cannot tell if the surgery worked or if the doctor just needed a new Lamborghini.
Back again, eye no longer dilated...which is good because having only one eye dilated, a ton of people came up to me asking if I had a traumatic brain injury. I told them no worse than normal - they left me alone after that. Anyway, I can see a little better out of my eye, as opposed to, oh I don't know, seeing a little better out of my elbow. So my suggestion to you if you ever need cataract surgery is to get used to using the eye drops. I think the doctor told me if I didn't use them that my eyes would explode, or something like that. And of course you have nothing to be worried about, seeing as how you will only be having minor surgery.
Saturday, January 4, 2014
The Uncommon Cold
Okay, first off let me start by saying that I live in Canterbury, Connecticut, about 11 miles north of Norwich. I don't live in Caribou, Maine or in Saskatchewan (yup, had to look that one up), Canada, so it is not fair to hear from any of my friends that live north of me as this blog does not apply to you...only because the temperature numbers I will be using will be laughable by your standards. So just bear with me as I try to prove a point to everyone south of latitude 41.7° North, 72° West, which is right here in my living room. Interesting that they use the degree symbol for both location as well as temperature, eh? Confusing the two could become, well, confusing. I can hear it now: "Where did you say you were located?" "41.7° North, 72° West." "I don't care about the temperature, tell me where you are! How can it be 41° AND 72° at the same time?" I know a few people that would ask that question. However, if you are reading this blog you are not one of those people because you are way too intelligent, so not to worry. Like how I got out of that one? Speaking of Canada, much of our cold weather comes down from Canada, so someone should consider weatherstripping the border.
In over 30 years here the lowest temperature every recorded at my house was -12° back a long time ago. It was so long ago that I remember I was cleaning up dinosaur poop from my front lawn...but I digress. As I write this, we here in the northeast are expecting record low temperatures tonight. It is all over the news, and when the weather is the first story on the news it is never good news (or good weather for that matter). Those of you that know me know that I am a Weather Aficionado, which is one college credit from being a meteorologist. All I am missing is an actual degree in meteorology. Again with a degree? I'm telling you, the weather is everywhere! And if you know me at all you know that I loathe the cold weather. The only time that I put up with it is if we're going to have a record breaking event such as tonight's cold temps, or a blizzard that produces over 20 inches of snow. Otherwise, give me 90° with high humidity verses a temperature that begins with a minus sign. Although at one time I was considering getting a job in the Arctic during the winter because the days are so short I would only have to work about an hour a week. But after considering what I could (or dare I say couldn't do) in my spare time I quickly nixed that idea. Sadly, work ethic didn't even enter into the equation.
As I write this the temperature outside is 6°. It is so cold the garbage is begging me not to take it out. I will not be publishing this blog until tomorrow, so I will have an up-to-the-minute report before I end to let you know if we broke the existing record of -12°. If not I will be one unhappy camper.
Well, the coldest it got here today was at about 5 AM with a reading of -10° which is 2° shy of the record. So that ended up being the second coldest reading here in the century or two that we have lived here. Better luck next time. Oh, by the way, in case you are wondering why we are having this cold spell, there is only one reason; my wood stove decided to kick the proverbial bucket so this winter we're depending on good old electric heat. I got my first bill a week ago...and I have opened up an account called "If You Want To Donate To A Large Electric Bill Feel Free". Donations of all denominations are accepted, especially ones with the name "Benjamin" in them! Happy Heating Everyone!
Well, the coldest it got here today was at about 5 AM with a reading of -10° which is 2° shy of the record. So that ended up being the second coldest reading here in the century or two that we have lived here. Better luck next time. Oh, by the way, in case you are wondering why we are having this cold spell, there is only one reason; my wood stove decided to kick the proverbial bucket so this winter we're depending on good old electric heat. I got my first bill a week ago...and I have opened up an account called "If You Want To Donate To A Large Electric Bill Feel Free". Donations of all denominations are accepted, especially ones with the name "Benjamin" in them! Happy Heating Everyone!
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Leaves, Sleep, and the Boston Red Sox
Unless you just crawled out from under a rock you have probably heard that the Boston Red Sox won the World Series and are now the World Champions! Okay, technically they are not "World" Champions - the official title is "World Series Champions", however for the purposes of this blog the Red Sox are the World Champions...live with it!
By now you may have also heard some of the story lines of their victory: their beards, their clubhouse comradery, and the fact that last year they came in dead last and this year they won it all, better known as Worst to First! However, you haven't heard it from me, so here goes. (But first a note to my New York Yankee friends - do you know what the "NY" on your hats stands for? Not Yet. Just thought I would throw that one in...and no, I don't want to talk about how many world series titles each team has because, frankly, it's not relevant to our conversation today. However, feel free to write your own blog and I'll be happy to read all about it!)
This victory was sweet this year for many reasons, not the least of which is that we have suffered through two horrific years of fried chicken, beer and Bobby Valentine! If you aren't a Sox fan you probably have no idea what I am talking about, but suffice it to say that it wasn't pretty. This year all we had to put up with were some beards that looked, well, for the most part, just a bit shabby. A small price to pay to become World Champions.
So why the title "Leaves, Sleep and the Boston Red Sox"? It is simply a matter of priorities. It isn't every year that the Red Sox get into the playoffs or the World Series, but every October the leaves fall and need to be raked up. Therefore, leaves keep (kinda like dust) so they will still be there in November. And I figure who needs sleep in October? November was made for that too. So feel free to stop by our house at any time and you may be lucky enough to spot me in the front yard, leaning on my rake fast asleep, in my Red Sox Champions of the Universe tee shirt. Hey, it could be true...do you know of any other planet that has a better baseball team? Not this year, baby! And even if there is baseball on other planets, is there another team that could win it all? How can I best put this...NY!
By now you may have also heard some of the story lines of their victory: their beards, their clubhouse comradery, and the fact that last year they came in dead last and this year they won it all, better known as Worst to First! However, you haven't heard it from me, so here goes. (But first a note to my New York Yankee friends - do you know what the "NY" on your hats stands for? Not Yet. Just thought I would throw that one in...and no, I don't want to talk about how many world series titles each team has because, frankly, it's not relevant to our conversation today. However, feel free to write your own blog and I'll be happy to read all about it!)
This victory was sweet this year for many reasons, not the least of which is that we have suffered through two horrific years of fried chicken, beer and Bobby Valentine! If you aren't a Sox fan you probably have no idea what I am talking about, but suffice it to say that it wasn't pretty. This year all we had to put up with were some beards that looked, well, for the most part, just a bit shabby. A small price to pay to become World Champions.
So why the title "Leaves, Sleep and the Boston Red Sox"? It is simply a matter of priorities. It isn't every year that the Red Sox get into the playoffs or the World Series, but every October the leaves fall and need to be raked up. Therefore, leaves keep (kinda like dust) so they will still be there in November. And I figure who needs sleep in October? November was made for that too. So feel free to stop by our house at any time and you may be lucky enough to spot me in the front yard, leaning on my rake fast asleep, in my Red Sox Champions of the Universe tee shirt. Hey, it could be true...do you know of any other planet that has a better baseball team? Not this year, baby! And even if there is baseball on other planets, is there another team that could win it all? How can I best put this...NY!
Monday, September 23, 2013
Studies Government-style!
With everything that is going on with the government today I thought I'd write a blog about studies. Not the stuff that we had to do in school, but studies that our illustrious government funds with our hard earned money. Notice I said "our" hard earned money. Let's not forget that the government does not make money, unless you consider printing it making it. No, what the government does is an enormous job of redistribution of our money. Granted the majority of what they spend it on is necessary (roughly 51%) but the remainder is what we lovingly refer to as "pork-barrel projects". You know, those "we gotta have 'em" projects that we cannot do without.
I did some research about some of these pork-barrel projects. It took me about 1/2 hour to find these, and if the government had hired me to do this research I figure I could have made $15,971 not including lodging and transportation. Quite a bargain by federal standards. Here is a list of just a few of these pet projects. First a disclaimer...if one or more of these projects were done at your request, well, too bad:
1) $107,000 to study the sex life of the Japanese quail. Apparently the male quail (say that 5 times fast) is quite the ladies man. Nuff said.
2) $84,000 to find out why people fall in love. Now THERE'S a mystery. Can't wait to see how that book ends. I bet the butler did it.
3) $1 Million dollars to find out why people don't ride bikes to work. Well let's see. I work about 23 miles from home and the best way to get from here to there is by Route 395 through Norwich. Seeing as how you can't ride a bike on Route 395, and I'm not about to bike over 30 miles one way, which is the next best route, well, there you go! That's a million dollars we'll never get back.
4) $100,000 on how to avoid falling spacecraft. As my friend Frank would say, some jokes just write themselves. And possibly my favorite because of the subject and the dollar amount...
5) $19 Million dollars to examine gas emissions from cow flatulence. I don't care if you believe in global warming or not, that is just a little over the top. I wonder if they'll classify that as man-made global warming? Okay, splain that one to me Lucy!
So the next time you are taking your Japanese quail for a walk while reading a love story not riding your bike to work (shame on you, by the way!), running through a smelly cow field because you're trying to avoid those pesky falling spacecraft, remember this blog and then ask yourself..."would the federal government have paid me to read this?" And if the answer is yes, let me know and we'll split the money! Wait, there's a knock at my door. Can I help you? You're with the FBI? Oh, the other FBI. The Federal Blog Investigation? Hey honey, call our attorney, we're in deep!
I did some research about some of these pork-barrel projects. It took me about 1/2 hour to find these, and if the government had hired me to do this research I figure I could have made $15,971 not including lodging and transportation. Quite a bargain by federal standards. Here is a list of just a few of these pet projects. First a disclaimer...if one or more of these projects were done at your request, well, too bad:
1) $107,000 to study the sex life of the Japanese quail. Apparently the male quail (say that 5 times fast) is quite the ladies man. Nuff said.
2) $84,000 to find out why people fall in love. Now THERE'S a mystery. Can't wait to see how that book ends. I bet the butler did it.
3) $1 Million dollars to find out why people don't ride bikes to work. Well let's see. I work about 23 miles from home and the best way to get from here to there is by Route 395 through Norwich. Seeing as how you can't ride a bike on Route 395, and I'm not about to bike over 30 miles one way, which is the next best route, well, there you go! That's a million dollars we'll never get back.
4) $100,000 on how to avoid falling spacecraft. As my friend Frank would say, some jokes just write themselves. And possibly my favorite because of the subject and the dollar amount...
5) $19 Million dollars to examine gas emissions from cow flatulence. I don't care if you believe in global warming or not, that is just a little over the top. I wonder if they'll classify that as man-made global warming? Okay, splain that one to me Lucy!
So the next time you are taking your Japanese quail for a walk while reading a love story not riding your bike to work (shame on you, by the way!), running through a smelly cow field because you're trying to avoid those pesky falling spacecraft, remember this blog and then ask yourself..."would the federal government have paid me to read this?" And if the answer is yes, let me know and we'll split the money! Wait, there's a knock at my door. Can I help you? You're with the FBI? Oh, the other FBI. The Federal Blog Investigation? Hey honey, call our attorney, we're in deep!
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Run/Walk to Break the Silence
Normally I can bang out a blog in a short period of time without too
much thought being put into it. Yes, that is my secret - not thinking -
seems to work every time! This one is a little bit different. Not that
I don't know a lot about the subject; quite the contrary, possibly too
much. I had never even heard of the subject before 2003 when it came,
uninvited, into our lives.
Ovarian cancer. Just the sound of those words can make one cringe.
When you hear of a friend or an acquaintance that has cancer your first
thought is "oh, that is too bad". But when it invades your life, or
your spouse's life, the angst level is off the charts. My wife Madonna
was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in August of 2003. She had all of the
"classic symptoms": bloating (in her case appearing to be 9 months
pregnant), stomach pain, frequent urination, and a few more. Who knew
what the symptoms of ovarian cancer were? Certainly not us. Most of
the symptoms mirror things many women experience on a monthly basis;
this is how insidious this disease is. It used to be known as the
"silent killer" however now we know that it is not - it whispers. If
the symptoms persist for more than two weeks, or if a symptom is unusual
for you, see a doctor. Chances are good that it is not ovarian cancer.
But if it is (about 22,000 women are diagnosed each year) and you catch
it early you have a 90% chance of survival. Unfortunately many women
aren't diagnosed early and about 15,000 women will die each year.
Getting back to our journey, my wife had an operation that removed a 17
centimeter tumor in her ovary, and without going into too much medical
jargon she had everything removed. Six sessions of chemotherapy
followed over the next four months, complete with total hair loss and
feeling like a Mack truck had run her over. That was ten years ago, and
our journey since that time has been many check-ups with good news each
time. Not that we did not have a few scares along the way, thinking
that the disease had recurred, which it does quite frequently. I think
about those times and they may have been more scary than the original
diagnosis.
Knowledge is the key for ovarian cancer. It can be beat, and it is
being beaten every day. The major problem is that there is no
definitive screening test that can be done so women need to be in tune
with their bodies and advocate for themselves. And men, you too need to
be aware as well. Had I known the symptoms back in 2003 I would have
insisted that my wife get checked out earlier than what she actually
did. That is why the National Ovarian Cancer Coalition (NOCC) states
that ovarian cancer is "more than a woman's disease". I can certainly
vouch for that as it affects everyone in the family.
The mission of the NOCC is to raise awareness and promote education
about ovarian cancer. They are committed to improving the survival rate
and quality of life for women with ovarian cancer. Being a non-profit
organization they rely primarily on donations. September is ovarian
cancer awareness month and the Connecticut Chapter of the NOCC is
sponsoring their 4th Annual Run/Walk to Break the Silence on Ovarian
Cancer on Saturday September 7, 2013 at Rentschler Field in East
Hartford beginning at 8 AM. Not only is it a fundraiser but it is also
a celebration of survivors and the memories of those lost to the
disease. It is an event complete with entertainment, vendors of all
kinds, food, etc. The comradery that is felt there cannot be explained;
it has to be experienced. It is a beautiful celebration. For more
information please go to nocc.kintera.org/connecticut. You can register
the morning of the walk or online before it. If you have any questions
or need any other information feel free to email me at
tkonline1@sbcglobal.net.
much thought being put into it. Yes, that is my secret - not thinking -
seems to work every time! This one is a little bit different. Not that
I don't know a lot about the subject; quite the contrary, possibly too
much. I had never even heard of the subject before 2003 when it came,
uninvited, into our lives.
Ovarian cancer. Just the sound of those words can make one cringe.
When you hear of a friend or an acquaintance that has cancer your first
thought is "oh, that is too bad". But when it invades your life, or
your spouse's life, the angst level is off the charts. My wife Madonna
was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in August of 2003. She had all of the
"classic symptoms": bloating (in her case appearing to be 9 months
pregnant), stomach pain, frequent urination, and a few more. Who knew
what the symptoms of ovarian cancer were? Certainly not us. Most of
the symptoms mirror things many women experience on a monthly basis;
this is how insidious this disease is. It used to be known as the
"silent killer" however now we know that it is not - it whispers. If
the symptoms persist for more than two weeks, or if a symptom is unusual
for you, see a doctor. Chances are good that it is not ovarian cancer.
But if it is (about 22,000 women are diagnosed each year) and you catch
it early you have a 90% chance of survival. Unfortunately many women
aren't diagnosed early and about 15,000 women will die each year.
Getting back to our journey, my wife had an operation that removed a 17
centimeter tumor in her ovary, and without going into too much medical
jargon she had everything removed. Six sessions of chemotherapy
followed over the next four months, complete with total hair loss and
feeling like a Mack truck had run her over. That was ten years ago, and
our journey since that time has been many check-ups with good news each
time. Not that we did not have a few scares along the way, thinking
that the disease had recurred, which it does quite frequently. I think
about those times and they may have been more scary than the original
diagnosis.
Knowledge is the key for ovarian cancer. It can be beat, and it is
being beaten every day. The major problem is that there is no
definitive screening test that can be done so women need to be in tune
with their bodies and advocate for themselves. And men, you too need to
be aware as well. Had I known the symptoms back in 2003 I would have
insisted that my wife get checked out earlier than what she actually
did. That is why the National Ovarian Cancer Coalition (NOCC) states
that ovarian cancer is "more than a woman's disease". I can certainly
vouch for that as it affects everyone in the family.
The mission of the NOCC is to raise awareness and promote education
about ovarian cancer. They are committed to improving the survival rate
and quality of life for women with ovarian cancer. Being a non-profit
organization they rely primarily on donations. September is ovarian
cancer awareness month and the Connecticut Chapter of the NOCC is
sponsoring their 4th Annual Run/Walk to Break the Silence on Ovarian
Cancer on Saturday September 7, 2013 at Rentschler Field in East
Hartford beginning at 8 AM. Not only is it a fundraiser but it is also
a celebration of survivors and the memories of those lost to the
disease. It is an event complete with entertainment, vendors of all
kinds, food, etc. The comradery that is felt there cannot be explained;
it has to be experienced. It is a beautiful celebration. For more
information please go to nocc.kintera.org/connecticut. You can register
the morning of the walk or online before it. If you have any questions
or need any other information feel free to email me at
tkonline1@sbcglobal.net.
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Anniversaries and Baseball
I love baseball. I like most sports but baseball is my favorite. I played center field for most of my baseball "career" in Norwich, coached and umpired for over 12 years, and now my career is insurance. However, if I got a call from the Red Sox asking that I help manage the team, do front office work, or clean the dugout, I would be there in a heartbeat. And my wife married me knowing this. So my idea of a great anniversary? Going to a ballgame of course. Hers? Not so much.
For the first time ever, my wife and I went to a Red Sox game on our anniversary. And no, we did not plan it...it just sort of happened. The planets aligned (my wife wouldn't necessarily agree) and we ended up with the tickets. Actually the tickets were won by my daughter in law so she and my son were all set to go, four days before our anniversary. How did I end up with the tickets? My daughter in law couldn't go to the game so my son offered her ticket to me (oh darn) so I sacrificed for my son and went with him to the game. Only after we got to Fenway Pahk ("Park" to those outside of Boston) did the game get rained out. The game was postponed until the next off day the Sox had, which happened to be our anniversary. And since my son could not make it that night my wife sacrificed for me and used my son's ticket. You got all that? There will be a test later on, so make sure you have it straight.
So we're off on our adventure the early afternoon of our 36th anniversary. (Remember that number, you will need to know it later on...but I digress.) We drive to the T (subway) station and take that into Kenmore Square. A short walk and we're at my Home Away From Home. We have great seats which are right below the press box behind home plate with a restaurant a few feet away. My daughter in law really knows how to win good tickets...thanks Em! After eating we go to our seats and settle in for the game. A waitress comes by to ask if we would like anything. I order a coke, and she asks if I would like to run a tab...a tab...at Fenway Pahk! YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! So of course I say yes thinking I would pretend to be an adult. I don't remember the last time I ran a tab - actually I don't think I have EVER run a tab so I went wild and spent a total of $12.50 for the entire game. Yup, that's me, the last of the big time spenders!
At the pahk there are photographers that take your picture in the hopes that you will purchase the package they show you later on. We posed and forgot about it. Until she came back with the photo which came out good. C'mon, it's Fenway Pahk, how could it not come out good?!? She said to purchase one picture would cost $25 but to buy the entire set the cost would be $36. (Does that number ring a bell?) My wife said "wow, it's our 36th wedding anniversary!" The couple sitting next to us literally started to yell "what? You GOTTA buy the pictures now!" (No peer pressure there.) So we did. We began to talk to our peer-pressure pals and find out that she is a divorce attorney. What are the chances? She called us an "icon" and gave us big time kudos which was nice. We explain that we were high school sweethearts (awwwww) and the photographer starts shaking her head saying "stop, you're gonna make me cry!" To which I respond "then can we have the pictures for free?" Didn't work, but I had to try.
Oh yea, there was a game going on too. In the middle of the 8th inning, during the singing of "Sweet Caroline" the heavens opened up and there was a 40 minute rain delay. Being under the press box we stay dry and enjoy seeing throngs of people head under cover. Petty? You bet. You got a problem with that?The Sox lost 2 to 1 on a lousy call by the umpire, who admitted it after the game. It is always fun when you have 35,000 fans screaming at the ump...good way to get rid of your frustrations! So the game ends and we leave to go home...only after I ask the divorce attorney for her card. Nah, not really. You see, my wife and I have always said we would never get divorced, for two reasons; the first is that neither one of us wanted custody of the kids. The second? We can't afford it! Happy Anniversary to all, and to all a good night!
For the first time ever, my wife and I went to a Red Sox game on our anniversary. And no, we did not plan it...it just sort of happened. The planets aligned (my wife wouldn't necessarily agree) and we ended up with the tickets. Actually the tickets were won by my daughter in law so she and my son were all set to go, four days before our anniversary. How did I end up with the tickets? My daughter in law couldn't go to the game so my son offered her ticket to me (oh darn) so I sacrificed for my son and went with him to the game. Only after we got to Fenway Pahk ("Park" to those outside of Boston) did the game get rained out. The game was postponed until the next off day the Sox had, which happened to be our anniversary. And since my son could not make it that night my wife sacrificed for me and used my son's ticket. You got all that? There will be a test later on, so make sure you have it straight.
So we're off on our adventure the early afternoon of our 36th anniversary. (Remember that number, you will need to know it later on...but I digress.) We drive to the T (subway) station and take that into Kenmore Square. A short walk and we're at my Home Away From Home. We have great seats which are right below the press box behind home plate with a restaurant a few feet away. My daughter in law really knows how to win good tickets...thanks Em! After eating we go to our seats and settle in for the game. A waitress comes by to ask if we would like anything. I order a coke, and she asks if I would like to run a tab...a tab...at Fenway Pahk! YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! So of course I say yes thinking I would pretend to be an adult. I don't remember the last time I ran a tab - actually I don't think I have EVER run a tab so I went wild and spent a total of $12.50 for the entire game. Yup, that's me, the last of the big time spenders!
At the pahk there are photographers that take your picture in the hopes that you will purchase the package they show you later on. We posed and forgot about it. Until she came back with the photo which came out good. C'mon, it's Fenway Pahk, how could it not come out good?!? She said to purchase one picture would cost $25 but to buy the entire set the cost would be $36. (Does that number ring a bell?) My wife said "wow, it's our 36th wedding anniversary!" The couple sitting next to us literally started to yell "what? You GOTTA buy the pictures now!" (No peer pressure there.) So we did. We began to talk to our peer-pressure pals and find out that she is a divorce attorney. What are the chances? She called us an "icon" and gave us big time kudos which was nice. We explain that we were high school sweethearts (awwwww) and the photographer starts shaking her head saying "stop, you're gonna make me cry!" To which I respond "then can we have the pictures for free?" Didn't work, but I had to try.
Oh yea, there was a game going on too. In the middle of the 8th inning, during the singing of "Sweet Caroline" the heavens opened up and there was a 40 minute rain delay. Being under the press box we stay dry and enjoy seeing throngs of people head under cover. Petty? You bet. You got a problem with that?The Sox lost 2 to 1 on a lousy call by the umpire, who admitted it after the game. It is always fun when you have 35,000 fans screaming at the ump...good way to get rid of your frustrations! So the game ends and we leave to go home...only after I ask the divorce attorney for her card. Nah, not really. You see, my wife and I have always said we would never get divorced, for two reasons; the first is that neither one of us wanted custody of the kids. The second? We can't afford it! Happy Anniversary to all, and to all a good night!
Saturday, June 22, 2013
Dog Gone it!
Do any of you own a puppy? Do any of you WANT to own a puppy? We just happen to have one. Only kidding, we paid too much to give the little guy away. But make me an offer. Did I say that out loud?
As some of you know, about a month or so ago we became the proud parents of Archie, a 3 pound Shih Tzu. Of course everyone has fun with the name of the breed because it sounds like, well, it sounds like something Archie is very good at doing. Puppies as a whole do not eat or drink - they refuel. Which makes house training a real pleasure. They live to run around like crazy and "go" wherever possible. I've found that most puppies prefer the rug to a hardwood floor as it makes it more of a challenge for the owner. Because that's what owning a puppy is all about; challenges. I have a theory as to why God made puppies so cute...so when their little accidents happen your're not tempted to throw them out with the "accident".
Archie is a good puppy though. For the most part he sleeps through the night in his kennel. But about three nights a week we hear "whine, whine, whine" which in puppy-speak either means "I have to go outside" or "I already went and don't feel like laying in it all night." Either way it demands your immediate attention. We're trying to bell train him - we have a bell hanging off of the front door handle and every time we bring him out we ring the bell with his paw. He actually rang the bell earlier today and when I turned around to look he was eating it. He loves toys and he thinks this is just another one. I try telling him what it is for but he just looks at me and tilts his head. You know, the way that all dogs do when you talk gibberish to them? Did you know that gibberish is an actual language from the country Gibber? It is one of the countries that emerged when the Soviet Union dissolved. Don't bother looking it up, though...just don't.
Our older dog Lily wants nothing to do with this wild thing we call Archie. When Archie sees her he goes crazy, jumping straight up in the air like a gazelle to play with her. She retaliates by growling and snapping at him...rather unladylike. So we have to keep them separated. I can't blame Lily because she has owned the house for over 14 years, and to share it with, well, with a wild thing is NOT her idea of a good time. Everyone keeps telling me that she will lighten up and things will get better. Okay, how about you come over to referee a few rounds and give my wife and I a break?
Archie is easily distracted when outside to do his business. He could be all set to make it happen (after smelling miles of grass and finding the proper spot) when a car comes by and all of the progress made up to that point goes away as he watches the car, and forgets what he was doing. A word to our neighbors - I will be putting spike strips on either end of our road when the dog is outside. Don't say you haven't been warned. And if you want to get by you will have to ring a bell. Hey, if it's good enough for my dog it's good enough for you!
Archie is a good puppy though. For the most part he sleeps through the night in his kennel. But about three nights a week we hear "whine, whine, whine" which in puppy-speak either means "I have to go outside" or "I already went and don't feel like laying in it all night." Either way it demands your immediate attention. We're trying to bell train him - we have a bell hanging off of the front door handle and every time we bring him out we ring the bell with his paw. He actually rang the bell earlier today and when I turned around to look he was eating it. He loves toys and he thinks this is just another one. I try telling him what it is for but he just looks at me and tilts his head. You know, the way that all dogs do when you talk gibberish to them? Did you know that gibberish is an actual language from the country Gibber? It is one of the countries that emerged when the Soviet Union dissolved. Don't bother looking it up, though...just don't.
Our older dog Lily wants nothing to do with this wild thing we call Archie. When Archie sees her he goes crazy, jumping straight up in the air like a gazelle to play with her. She retaliates by growling and snapping at him...rather unladylike. So we have to keep them separated. I can't blame Lily because she has owned the house for over 14 years, and to share it with, well, with a wild thing is NOT her idea of a good time. Everyone keeps telling me that she will lighten up and things will get better. Okay, how about you come over to referee a few rounds and give my wife and I a break?
Archie is easily distracted when outside to do his business. He could be all set to make it happen (after smelling miles of grass and finding the proper spot) when a car comes by and all of the progress made up to that point goes away as he watches the car, and forgets what he was doing. A word to our neighbors - I will be putting spike strips on either end of our road when the dog is outside. Don't say you haven't been warned. And if you want to get by you will have to ring a bell. Hey, if it's good enough for my dog it's good enough for you!
Sunday, June 2, 2013
'Tis The (allergy) Season
Welcome one and all to Allergy Season. That time of the year where you may feel okay but your face looks like someone just pepper-sprayed you. You know, runny nose, watery eyes, foaming at the mouth...all telltale signs that something is just not right. And all you did was walk outside - it just ain't fair. Luckily there are well over a thousand products on the market to take care of the symptoms. (Side note: if you ARE foaming at the mouth, might I recommend a quick trip to the ER? I would give you a ride but I'm busy that day.)
I consider myself somewhat of an expert on the subject of allergies. Anyone that knows me knows that I have had 5 surgeries on my sinuses (what's left of them anyway) mostly caused by, you guessed it, allergies. I figure with all of my experiences over the past 35 plus years with allergy symptoms, doctor visits and operations, I am one college course short of being a board certified Otolaryngologist. However, a number of years ago my allergist gave me a diagnosis that no one has ever heard of. It seems I have Samter's Syndrome. Samter's Syndrome is the combination of three symptoms, which are nasal polyps, an allergy to aspirin, and asthma. Of course there is no cure for this syndrome. My first reaction to this was "then why even call it a syndrome?" All I keep thinking is that guy back in the 1920's probably made a lot of money by lumping together three symptoms. Then I started identifying things and creating my own syndromes. Here's one: a couch, coffee table and recliner...Furniture Syndrome. Or, a dirty diaper, projectile vomiting and a 3 AM feeding...Baby Syndrome. Okay, now where's MY money?
Allergies are funny things. You can be allergic to the environment, animals, food or drugs to name a few. (Side note - I just sneezed...you can't make this stuff up! Well, maybe you can, but this time it was true!) I can claim ownership to all four. Supposedly I am allergic to dust, most animals that have fur, strawberries and aspirin. So a bad day for me would consist of being licked by a German Shepherd while eating strawberry shortcake laced with aspirin in a dirty house. Out of all of those things I am allergic to, I'll bet that most of you are saying "wow, he can't eat strawberries?" I haven't had one since I was five years old and became one big hive. Of course no one cares that if I had an aspirin it is an instant trip to the ER...maybe because I could not give you a ride when you foaming at the mouth. You know what they say about payback...
It is interesting to note that most of my allergy problems began a few years after high school, around 1977...July of 1977...July 29, 1977. A pure coincidence that I was married on that day. I have to go now, it is dinner time. What's that honey? We're having a mystery dessert tonight? Hmmm, I wonder what it could be...
Allergies are funny things. You can be allergic to the environment, animals, food or drugs to name a few. (Side note - I just sneezed...you can't make this stuff up! Well, maybe you can, but this time it was true!) I can claim ownership to all four. Supposedly I am allergic to dust, most animals that have fur, strawberries and aspirin. So a bad day for me would consist of being licked by a German Shepherd while eating strawberry shortcake laced with aspirin in a dirty house. Out of all of those things I am allergic to, I'll bet that most of you are saying "wow, he can't eat strawberries?" I haven't had one since I was five years old and became one big hive. Of course no one cares that if I had an aspirin it is an instant trip to the ER...maybe because I could not give you a ride when you foaming at the mouth. You know what they say about payback...
It is interesting to note that most of my allergy problems began a few years after high school, around 1977...July of 1977...July 29, 1977. A pure coincidence that I was married on that day. I have to go now, it is dinner time. What's that honey? We're having a mystery dessert tonight? Hmmm, I wonder what it could be...
Friday, May 3, 2013
Up, Up and Away...
Do you like to fly or are you one of the people that start panting in fear when you so much as look at a travel brochure? You all have heard the statistics about flying; how you are more apt to get into a car accident on the way to the airport than to be involved in a airline mishap. According to "Anxieties.com" (yes, there is a website called Anxieties.com...I would have referred to the website in earlier blogs but I was too anxious to do so) in order for airline travel to equal the mortality rate of driving, a sold out 727 jet would have to crash every day of the year, with no survivors, to equal the number of deaths in a year on our roads. What a happy thought!
So we have established that flying is much safer than driving. Yes, I know that if your airplane crashes into the side of a mountain chances are you won't be going grocery shopping the next day. Every now and then you hear or read something that makes you question the statistics, or even the pilots flying these machines. We recently came back from a trip to Washington, DC and over the speaker system he said "ladies and gentlemen, we have begun our decent into the Hartford area". I looked at my wife and said "the Hartford AREA? What's he going to do, pick a random spot and try to land?" These are the things that people can point to when they are shaking in their boots before a trip. Luckily I am here to help. But not right now.
I was in the airport looking out the window at a plane that had just landed and taxied in to its parking spot. Then a mechanism called a Jet Bridge, totally on its own, wheels its way to the plane door, attaches itself, then sucks the passengers out of the plane. Don't tell me that's not how it's done, I saw it with my own eyes. You wonder why passengers coming into the airport from the plane all look the way they do? It has nothing to do with the flight; it has EVERYTHING to do with how they are forced to disembark! Just another reason to dislike flying.
Have you ever heard the old joke about the cut-rate airline (of which there are none anymore...bought a ticket lately)? The shortened version of the joke: a flight attendant comes over the loud speaker and says "we have just lost all of our engines and will have to crash in the ocean. Those of you who can swim please line up on the left side of the plane and prepare to jump. And those of you who cannot? Thank you for flying Cut Rate Airlines". I was on a plane a while back and the pilot announced "we have lost one of our engines but not to worry. We still have 3 engines left which is more than enough to get us to our destination. But it will take us 1/2 hour longer to get there." He then announced "ladies and gentlemen we have lost another engine but no problem, two engines are more than enough to get us to the airport. But it will take about an hour longer than normal." A few minutes later the pilot said "well, we have just lost the third engine, however the planes are designed to fly with only one engine. But now we will be 2 hours late." I turned to my wife and said "I hope we don't lose the last engine, we'll be up here all day!" Yea, I know, lame!
So get out there and take off into the wild blue yonder, now that you see there is no reason to be afraid of flying. Actually that is not totally true, as there is one part of flying everyone fears even before you go to the airport, and it involves your wallet. The airlines have devised an invisible Jet Bridge that attaches to your credit card and sucks out the money...be afraid, be very afraid!
So we have established that flying is much safer than driving. Yes, I know that if your airplane crashes into the side of a mountain chances are you won't be going grocery shopping the next day. Every now and then you hear or read something that makes you question the statistics, or even the pilots flying these machines. We recently came back from a trip to Washington, DC and over the speaker system he said "ladies and gentlemen, we have begun our decent into the Hartford area". I looked at my wife and said "the Hartford AREA? What's he going to do, pick a random spot and try to land?" These are the things that people can point to when they are shaking in their boots before a trip. Luckily I am here to help. But not right now.
I was in the airport looking out the window at a plane that had just landed and taxied in to its parking spot. Then a mechanism called a Jet Bridge, totally on its own, wheels its way to the plane door, attaches itself, then sucks the passengers out of the plane. Don't tell me that's not how it's done, I saw it with my own eyes. You wonder why passengers coming into the airport from the plane all look the way they do? It has nothing to do with the flight; it has EVERYTHING to do with how they are forced to disembark! Just another reason to dislike flying.
Have you ever heard the old joke about the cut-rate airline (of which there are none anymore...bought a ticket lately)? The shortened version of the joke: a flight attendant comes over the loud speaker and says "we have just lost all of our engines and will have to crash in the ocean. Those of you who can swim please line up on the left side of the plane and prepare to jump. And those of you who cannot? Thank you for flying Cut Rate Airlines". I was on a plane a while back and the pilot announced "we have lost one of our engines but not to worry. We still have 3 engines left which is more than enough to get us to our destination. But it will take us 1/2 hour longer to get there." He then announced "ladies and gentlemen we have lost another engine but no problem, two engines are more than enough to get us to the airport. But it will take about an hour longer than normal." A few minutes later the pilot said "well, we have just lost the third engine, however the planes are designed to fly with only one engine. But now we will be 2 hours late." I turned to my wife and said "I hope we don't lose the last engine, we'll be up here all day!" Yea, I know, lame!
So get out there and take off into the wild blue yonder, now that you see there is no reason to be afraid of flying. Actually that is not totally true, as there is one part of flying everyone fears even before you go to the airport, and it involves your wallet. The airlines have devised an invisible Jet Bridge that attaches to your credit card and sucks out the money...be afraid, be very afraid!
Monday, April 1, 2013
Spring? Not Quite yet...
Springtime in New England. This is the time of year where I begin to wonder if the warmer temperatures will ever find their way back to New England. As you probably know, I am not a fan of winter. I would be perfectly happy with three seasons, spring, summer and fall. Actually just summer would be fine with me. I'm always amazed at people who like winter. People that live up north by the Canadian border must love winter. They live where, speaking of three seasons, they only have two seasons; winter and the Fourth of July. Don't ask me why I still live in Eastern Connecticut...I know it's not because of the winter!
I have a wood stove and I just ordered what I hope is my last load of firewood. It is sitting outside my basement door in the driveway like a life size Jenga game. You know, that game that you stack the wooden pieces up and then try to remove a piece without toppling the pile? That's what I attempt to do every time I go to bring wood into the house. I take about 8 pieces in at a time, and dodge the wood that is falling at (or on) my feet at about 132 MPH. I'm normally quite good at it - after all, I've had over 30 years of practice, and relatively few broken bones to show for it. If you ever hear of a life size Jenga tournament let me know.
Everyone is good at something and, speaking of games, I LOVE Whack-A-Mole. This has nothing to do with winter, other than the fact that you cannot normally play this game in the winter as it is a game that is most often found at an outdoor carnival. After winning the game thousands of times (give or take) people have come up to me to ask "what's your secret?" My reply? Just think of the moles as someone you are not very fond of, and whack away. That's not what I do, but it's fun watching them walk away formulating the list of potential "victims" in their heads. Losers. Did I say that out loud?
There is a light at the end of the winter tunnel. This week had one of my favorite holidays - Opening Day of Baseball, so summer can't be too far behind. And all is right with the world because the Red Sox beat the Yankees. (Baseball fans with opposing viewpoints can write their own blog.) At least the Sox won't go 0-162 this year. After the last two seasons one never knows.
So hang in there folks, soon you will be whining about the humidity and heat. But not me, I do my best whining in the wintertime...now THERE'S a reason to be glad winter is coming to an end!
I have a wood stove and I just ordered what I hope is my last load of firewood. It is sitting outside my basement door in the driveway like a life size Jenga game. You know, that game that you stack the wooden pieces up and then try to remove a piece without toppling the pile? That's what I attempt to do every time I go to bring wood into the house. I take about 8 pieces in at a time, and dodge the wood that is falling at (or on) my feet at about 132 MPH. I'm normally quite good at it - after all, I've had over 30 years of practice, and relatively few broken bones to show for it. If you ever hear of a life size Jenga tournament let me know.
Everyone is good at something and, speaking of games, I LOVE Whack-A-Mole. This has nothing to do with winter, other than the fact that you cannot normally play this game in the winter as it is a game that is most often found at an outdoor carnival. After winning the game thousands of times (give or take) people have come up to me to ask "what's your secret?" My reply? Just think of the moles as someone you are not very fond of, and whack away. That's not what I do, but it's fun watching them walk away formulating the list of potential "victims" in their heads. Losers. Did I say that out loud?
There is a light at the end of the winter tunnel. This week had one of my favorite holidays - Opening Day of Baseball, so summer can't be too far behind. And all is right with the world because the Red Sox beat the Yankees. (Baseball fans with opposing viewpoints can write their own blog.) At least the Sox won't go 0-162 this year. After the last two seasons one never knows.
So hang in there folks, soon you will be whining about the humidity and heat. But not me, I do my best whining in the wintertime...now THERE'S a reason to be glad winter is coming to an end!
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Weather or Not
I'm sitting here all nice and warm in our house looking outside at the Winter Wonderland that God has provided us here in eastern Connecticut. I'm sure this was an answer to prayer for someone (some lunatic skier perhaps), but it certainly was not for me! We have at least two feet of snow and counting, which is about 24 inches too much. Welcome to the record books...this is one of the largest winter storms ever to hit the Eastern US. And so, since I am a weather aficionado (which is only one college course from a Meteorologist) I feel compelled to talk about the weather.
Time to shovel. My wife bought me the orange jacket & pants just in case I fell off the roof; she would have a better chance of finding me. At least I THINK that's why she bought it for me. Come to think of it, this is the exact same outfit that the state prisoners wear during the winter. It's possible that she has already called the police, reported an escaped prisoner, and they could be on their way as we speak. So I'll have to type fast to make sure I get this done just in case. I hung the orange outfit in the basement to dry but I'm sure they would find it and that would be the end of me. However, I'm betting that my wife did not call the police...you see, I'm not quite done shoveling yet.
Because the snow is over 20 inches taller than our dog Lily she decided not to go out until I shoveled a path for her. Wimp. It took me about 20 minutes (one minute per inch of snow...a snow blower I ain't) but I finally shoveled a path into our front yard so Lily could do her thing. We let her out, she ran down the stairs, ran to the end of the path (which took her all of 2 seconds), turned around and said "are ya kiddin' me?" I just shut the door. She turned around and proceeded to do what she does best in the winter, produce some yellow snow. Yay Lily! Then, because of the snow, she came in the house all white...she also went out of the house all white...white dogs tend to do that.
Many people are beginning to give up with this winter weather. Even vehicles are giving up. I looked outside this morning and both of our vehicles had their windshield wipers raised in the air...for those of you that don't know, this is a vehicle's sign that they have given up. It's kind of like you raising your arms in the air during a bank robbery. Unless of course YOU are the one robbing the bank in which case your arms should not be in the air. If you weren't aware of this then you should not be robbing banks. May I suggest taking up a different profession...like politics. Never mind, basically the same line of business.
Let's take a look at the long range forecast. Since last week was Groundhog Day (what other rodent has its own day?), according to Punxsutawney Phil who is the world's leading prognosticator of all things weather, we should all be getting out our swim gear because Spring is right around the corner. How about this, Phil? How about you grab a shovel to help me clear over 24 inches of "Spring Is Right Around The Corner"!
Now if you'll excuse me I have to outside to go tell my vehicles that everything will be all right.
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Friendly Advice
Blogging material can come to you in a number of ways. You can receive it by divine inspiration (yes, I said that with a straight face), you can use life's experiences, and you can also ask others for it. The first two don't require an awful lot of effort because you either got it or you ain't. The last, however, takes a bit of effort and courage on your part because you are basically at the mercy of someone else's thoughts and suggestions. So I decided I was going to give it a shot and take the biggest risk known to blogkind (that's mankind in Blogspeak) and write exclusively about subjects that others suggested. I took the plunge recently and on Facebook asked what I should write about. Here goes, Norwich Rose!
I decided not to use anyone's real name to protect the innocent...although after reading some of the Facebook comments there weren't too many innocent people out there - you know who you are!
Enitsirhc chimed in first and thinks I should write about THE FLU. Really? How do you make a subject like the flu funny? Make sure it's something you don't catch. If you do get the flu and go to the doctor's office, leave immediately if the office plants are dead. And if you do decide to stay to see the doctor and she says that your cough sounds bad, scold her by telling her you have been practicing all night. (Read that sentence again, you'll get it...the joke, not the flu!)
Dahc suggested the subject of youth and the difference between the generations...deep! I could go the old joke route and say something like "back in my day on the East side of Norwich we walked to school, in the snow, uphill, both ways". I actually did walk to school up to the third grade, and it was about 3/4 of a mile. And back then it snowed from early September through the middle of June...every day...only while we were walking...it still amazes me to this day.
Treb gave a number of ideas. One dovetails with my walking to school story, and that is where did winter go? True! It seemed like way, way, way back then there was always ice on the ponds - not so much anymore. I think someone in the 1970's lost the recipe. I used to love winter. Now I can barely tolerate it. And, no, it wasn't I who lost the recipe - I can think of nothing more fun than to be out on the ice, slipping and sliding, you know, breaking parts of your body that should never be broken. At least if that were to happen you get to stay in a warm hospital room...next to someone with the flu.
Yhtak mentioned a story on how to buy the right snow blower. If you have been reading my blogs from the beginning (and who hasn't?) you will know that I got blamed for the horrific winter snows we got two years ago because I did not purchase a snow blower. The theory? Had I purchased a snow blower it would have stopped it from snowing. I'll bet you had no idea that I hold that kind of power!
Cram stayed on the same theme and said that the subject should be the benefits of moving to Florida and never having to shovel snow again. Here's what I think...I could absolutely handle that! Got an extra room down there Cram?
Ekim went all political on me and when he was done he ended by saying that his thoughts on the subject would not be published anyway. Yup, you're right Ekim, even though I agreed with them!
I once wrote a blog about music, and in it mentioned my least favorite song of all time, Maggie May by Rod Stewart. My "friend" Yttap brings it up every time I hear from her...bless her heart! Her actual suggestion? Write about Rod Stewart's favorite song. Nice try, pal!
There were other suggestions but if I used them all this would not be a blog, it would be a book. Well, this experiment proves one thing - that people read the status updates in Facebook. I want to personally thank each and every one of the people that made comments that I was able to use in this blog. I'll think of you all the next time I am walking to school, uphill, both ways, pushing a snow blower, humming Maggie May while thinking about the political ramifications of not having winter...with the flu.
I decided not to use anyone's real name to protect the innocent...although after reading some of the Facebook comments there weren't too many innocent people out there - you know who you are!
Enitsirhc chimed in first and thinks I should write about THE FLU. Really? How do you make a subject like the flu funny? Make sure it's something you don't catch. If you do get the flu and go to the doctor's office, leave immediately if the office plants are dead. And if you do decide to stay to see the doctor and she says that your cough sounds bad, scold her by telling her you have been practicing all night. (Read that sentence again, you'll get it...the joke, not the flu!)
Dahc suggested the subject of youth and the difference between the generations...deep! I could go the old joke route and say something like "back in my day on the East side of Norwich we walked to school, in the snow, uphill, both ways". I actually did walk to school up to the third grade, and it was about 3/4 of a mile. And back then it snowed from early September through the middle of June...every day...only while we were walking...it still amazes me to this day.
Treb gave a number of ideas. One dovetails with my walking to school story, and that is where did winter go? True! It seemed like way, way, way back then there was always ice on the ponds - not so much anymore. I think someone in the 1970's lost the recipe. I used to love winter. Now I can barely tolerate it. And, no, it wasn't I who lost the recipe - I can think of nothing more fun than to be out on the ice, slipping and sliding, you know, breaking parts of your body that should never be broken. At least if that were to happen you get to stay in a warm hospital room...next to someone with the flu.
Yhtak mentioned a story on how to buy the right snow blower. If you have been reading my blogs from the beginning (and who hasn't?) you will know that I got blamed for the horrific winter snows we got two years ago because I did not purchase a snow blower. The theory? Had I purchased a snow blower it would have stopped it from snowing. I'll bet you had no idea that I hold that kind of power!
Cram stayed on the same theme and said that the subject should be the benefits of moving to Florida and never having to shovel snow again. Here's what I think...I could absolutely handle that! Got an extra room down there Cram?
Ekim went all political on me and when he was done he ended by saying that his thoughts on the subject would not be published anyway. Yup, you're right Ekim, even though I agreed with them!
I once wrote a blog about music, and in it mentioned my least favorite song of all time, Maggie May by Rod Stewart. My "friend" Yttap brings it up every time I hear from her...bless her heart! Her actual suggestion? Write about Rod Stewart's favorite song. Nice try, pal!
There were other suggestions but if I used them all this would not be a blog, it would be a book. Well, this experiment proves one thing - that people read the status updates in Facebook. I want to personally thank each and every one of the people that made comments that I was able to use in this blog. I'll think of you all the next time I am walking to school, uphill, both ways, pushing a snow blower, humming Maggie May while thinking about the political ramifications of not having winter...with the flu.
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