Everyone's Favorite Subject

There isn't a person alive today that does not love TAXES.  Wait a minute...that can't be right.  I don't love taxes, and my guess is that you don't love taxes either.  Taxes aren't everyone's favorite subject.  So why did I name this Everyone's Favorite Subject?  It got you to read this far, didn't it?

Taxes and procrastination go hand in hand.  Especially when you are pretty certain that you will owe money when your taxes are finally done.  The date that you complete your taxes is directly proportional to knowing whether you will be getting money back or not.  If your taxes are done on February 1st then you are getting money back.  If you are standing in line at the post office at 11:35 PM on April 15th chances are good that you will be sending a check to our illustrious government.  Speaking of April 15th, is there any other day in the year that is more despised?  If you work in retail maybe December 26th isn't your favorite day because people like me are returning items like the re-gifted Veg-O-Matic we received.  (Note to reader - if you know what a Veg-O-Matic is you may be older than you think.)  Why didn't the government make the date April 13th?  Most people don't like the number 13 anyway so why not add one more reason to hate the number?

I normally do my own taxes.  I actually set today aside to begin the arduous process, and even though I am closer to February 1st than I am to April 15th I think I will owe Uncle Sam some moolah.  How do I know this?  Ever have a gut feeling about something?  As I get older (which is a phenomena that my wife claims she does not experience) I find my gut feeling is normally correct.  I would be ecstatic to find out that I am wrong in this case but alas I doubt that will happen.  So even though the taxes will be done well in advance of the dreaded April 15th deadline chances are good that they will not be mailed out until that date.  Deadline...a very apropos way of describing that date - DEADline.  Or how about "cutoff"?  That one has a nice ring to it too, don't you think?  Or how about zero hour, moment of truth, jumping off point, day of judgement, or probably the best way to describe April 15th...THE END.

I have a very good reason why I haven't yet begun doing my taxes and it is all my wife's fault.  She is using the laptop computer I use to do the taxes to edit pictures we took at a party last night.  That of course is much more important than the pesky taxes.  And you know what?  I agree with her!  Procrastination?  Not me. It's all a matter of priorities, my friend.

The whole thing of having to pay taxes to the government drives me crazy anyway.  Without getting into political views here, which I'm sure I will at some point in future blogs, don't you think the government should be able to function without taking 85% of our paycheck?  Okay, maybe that don't take THAT much but doesn't it seem like it?  And what do you get in return?  Possibly a repaired pothole on Rt. 95, after of course you have two blown tires from hitting it.

Then there are "deductions".  The word sounds like an illegal act.  "Deductions - to subtract or take away".  Isn't it interesting that the government uses that term to give you back a tiny fraction of what you paid to them?  I think that they purposely named them "deductions" to make you think twice about actually taking advantage of them.  See how sneaky the government can be?  Putting subliminal thoughts in your mind to keep more of your money and to make you feel guilty about taking it back.  However, I think I'm giving the government way too much credit - they probably haven't thought the terminology through that thoroughly...yet.

Oh yea, a quick update on my roof.  (And you thought you would get through a blog without mention of the weather?  It'll happen...just not on this blog!)  Most of the snow is off of the southern side of my roof and there is still quite a bit on the northern side.  As an aside, I would like to teach you how to tell the difference between the southern side and the northern side of your roof.  Just ask your roof a question; if it answers with a drawl then it's the southern side.  Anyway, the ice damming is still occurring on the north side, even though there is no snow within 2 feet of the gutters.  I'm beginning to think there is someone messing with me because this just isn't right. 

Wait a minute - what's that?  I'm looking out the window and sure enough there is someone outside jamming ice into the gutters...and they have a name badge on.  I can't make out the name but the badge has three letters on it...IRS.  Well, THAT figures!