The Incredible Shrinking Driveway

I don't mind a little cold weather, like 60 degrees.  Anything below that is inhumane...period. I blame the cold on the thermometers.  Here's my theory - way back when, before the dreaded thermometers, the weather here in CT was about 75-80 degrees all year round.  But, because the stinking thermometers say that it is -5 degrees the weather must cooperate and thus it becomes -5 degrees.  Who programs these lousy thermometers anyway?  I have proof that it is all a conspiracy.  The word "degrees" - did you know that originally the word started out as "decrees"?  That is how the thermometers were given the power to affect the temperature and thus the weather.  It wasn't until some lunkhead (probably Mr. Thermo) went ahead and invented these insidious devices that we have the unbearable weather we now enjoy.

Because of the (say the next word in the most sarcastic way possible) THERMOMETERS and the accompanying weather I now have a driveway that is about 2/3 of its normal size.  Why?  Because there is nowhere to put the snow!  Mr. Thermo, don't let me meet you in a dark alley anytime soon - I'm getting fairly good at wielding a snow shovel as I've achieved the level of Black Belt just this year.  Be afraid, be very afraid.

Of course I know that most of New England has the same problem I have, but to quote Rhett Butler, "Frankly my dear..."  You know the rest.  A quick aside:  the last sentence has the words "New England" and "Butler" in it.  I now expect to get well over 100,000 hits on the blog from people looking for stories about the Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots and the hero of the game Malcolm Butler!  I'll take any help I can get.  And now in my best anchorman voice, "now back to the weather!"

Up to this point I have been hesitant to mention the words "snow blower" because there is a certain faction of people out there that believe that if I actually purchase one the snow will magically stop falling for the remainder of the winter.  That might be true...I bought a new generator and the power has not gone out once since I got it...last week.  But speaking of purchases, quite possibly the best purchase I have ever made was when we first moved into our house and I bought some Elephant Repellent...man, that stuff works great!