Saturday, January 4, 2014

The Uncommon Cold

Okay, first off let me start by saying that I live in Canterbury, Connecticut, about 11 miles north of Norwich.  I don't live in Caribou, Maine or in Saskatchewan (yup, had to look that one up), Canada, so it is not fair to hear from any of my friends that live north of me as this blog does not apply to you...only because the temperature numbers I will be using will be laughable by your standards.  So just bear with me as I try to prove a point to everyone south of  latitude 41.7° North, 72° West, which is right here in my living room.  Interesting that they use the degree symbol for both location as well as temperature, eh?  Confusing the two could become, well, confusing.  I can hear it now:  "Where did you say you were located?"  "41.7° North, 72° West."  "I don't care about the temperature, tell me where you are!  How can it be 41° AND 72° at the same time?"  I know a few people that would ask that question.  However, if you are reading this blog you are not one of those people because you are way too intelligent, so not to worry.  Like how I got out of that one?  Speaking of Canada, much of our cold weather comes down from Canada, so someone should consider weatherstripping the border.

In over 30 years here the lowest temperature every recorded at my house was -12° back a long time ago.  It was so long ago that I remember I was cleaning up dinosaur poop from my front lawn...but I digress.  As I write this, we here in the northeast are expecting record low temperatures tonight.  It is all over the news, and when the weather is the first story on the news it is never good news (or good weather for that matter).  Those of you that know me know that I am a Weather Aficionado, which is one college credit from being a meteorologist. All I am missing is an actual degree in meteorology.  Again with a degree?  I'm telling you, the weather is everywhere!  And if you know me at all you know that I loathe the cold weather.  The only time that I put up with it is if we're going to have a record breaking event such as tonight's cold temps, or a blizzard that produces over 20 inches of snow.  Otherwise, give me 90° with high humidity verses a temperature that begins with a minus sign.  Although at one time I was considering getting a job in the Arctic during the winter because the days are so short I would only have to work about an hour a week.  But after considering what I could (or dare I say couldn't do) in my spare time I quickly nixed that idea.  Sadly, work ethic didn't even enter into the equation.

As I write this the temperature outside is 6°.  It is so cold the garbage is begging me not to take it out.  I will not be publishing this blog until tomorrow, so I will have an up-to-the-minute report before I end to let you know if we broke the existing record of -12°.  If not I will be one unhappy camper.

Well, the coldest it got here today was at about 5 AM with a reading of -10° which is 2° shy of the record.  So that ended up being the second coldest reading here in the century or two that we have lived here.  Better luck next time.  Oh, by the way, in case you are wondering why we are having this cold spell, there is only one reason; my wood stove decided to kick the proverbial bucket so this winter we're depending on good old electric heat.  I got my first bill a week ago...and I have opened up an account called "If You Want To Donate To A Large Electric Bill Feel Free".  Donations of all denominations are accepted, especially ones with the name "Benjamin" in them!  Happy Heating Everyone!


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