Undeniable Truths

Probably about three years ago I began putting notes down on a small yellow pad; gibberish only I could understand.  Kind of my own shorthand of things that just pop into my head.  I don't recommend this, however, because it can be downright dangerous to the rank amateur.  Especially if someone else finds the notes...I understand that in Connecticut there is a Statute that allows the state to haul you away if they find this, so I would caution against this type of action.  I, however, being the adventurous, live-on-the-edge kind of guy continue to do this to this day.  So catch me if you can!

I've noticed that there are many things in this life that are Undeniable Truths...no, not the kinds of things usually associated with the term such as religion (which, by the way, I would be happy to debate - just not right now, okay)?  These are the small, everyday types of things that go unnoticed to the average person.  And since someone should bring them to your attention I felt compelled to be the one to do this.  Hop on, everyone, this could be a bumpy ride!

The first Undeniable Truth is one that was previously mentioned in the world famous "Bathroom Blog" which, if you haven't read it I highly recommend.  I know the guy that wrote it and I STILL recommend it!  Here it is: Women go to the bathroom in herds.  There I said it. If you want an explanation see the previously cited blog. Can we all move on now?

The next concerns those plastic containers such as Tupperware.  They never dry!  Have you ever washed one and left it in the strainer to dry?  Or taken one out of the dishwasher after the dry cycle ended?  It is still wet!  A few years ago I went away for almost three months.  (Did I actually go away?  Of course not.) But when I returned there were a few dishes in the strainer and, you guessed it, a Tupperware container that was still wet. I can't explain it, I only report it.

How about computers?  You go to log off and what pops up? A box that says "do you really want to log off?"  Nah, not really, what was I thinking?  I am not very fond of inanimate objects suggesting what I should and shouldn't do.  Yes, I know it is there as a fail-safe just in case you screwed up so it gives you a second chance; but for the purposes of this blog no one screws up so this is just an annoyance!

In every parade there is always someone on a float waving...that's fairly normal.  But, what gets me is that every time that person is waving you suddenly see them stop, look into the crowd, point, and wave furiously at one particular person as if they are a long lost friend that they are seeing for the first time in years. My theory on this?  The float person knows no one on the parade route and they are just trying to make themselves seem like "one of the guys...or gals...or whatever".  And if per chance they DO know the person they are waving to, how about inviting them aboard the float so we can all see him or her.  They never do that, do they!  I wonder why...?

Have you ever gone to an event that gives away trinkets of some sort?  They are called "tchotchkes" which is pronounced "wooster".  Oh,wait  a minute, that would be "Worcester".  Tchotchkes is pronounced Chachkeys.  Anyway, many of these things such as pens or letter openers have the name, address and phone number of the organization that is giving them away.  When is the last time you used one of these tchotchkes to get an address or a phone number?  Undeniable truth? My guess is never which begs the question; why even do it?

Another one...all women love stoneware.  You know, the cooking containers made of some sort of product mined from the earth to weigh triple what it should.  Everything you cook with gets washed with soap and water...not these babies!  You can't get soap on them as they are as porous as a sponge and will absorb the soap thus ruining the container.  Who ever heard of such a thing?  So how do you clean them?  Water and elbow grease.  However, once the containers get "seasoned" they are much easier to clean.  Let me tell you something, ladies - do you know how the containers get seasoned?  It's called baked on food that cannot be cleaned off with only water.  So why would you want to use a cooking container that cannot be cleaned with soap that has leftover food baked right into the surface?  Just asking...

Someone just rang the doorbell. Who is at the door at this hour?  Hang on, let me check.  It's someone from the State.  What yellow pad?!?  Oy!