Regarding Communication & Purses

Is it just me or has anyone else noticed that no one is talking anymore?  The younger you are the more likely that you no longer communicate verbally.  And who needs to?  First came the fax machine, then later on email, chat rooms, online chats, and my favorite of all, texting!  What brilliant mind thought of texting???  Why do something that takes 17 times longer* to do than actually talk...and more physical effort to boot? (*Statistics prove that the average texter takes 17 times longer to text something than to actually speak the words.  Of course I just made that up but it sounds good.)  Also, statistics show that 22% of statistics out there are wrong anyway...so where does that leave this?  Probably back to square one because I made that up too.  Don't like it?  Then get your own blog.

But I digress.  Just in case you think I don't know what I am talking about, consider this example.  A few weeks ago I called my son and he knew who it was before he answered his cell phone - not because of caller ID, but because he said that I am one of the few people that actually CALL him on the phone rather than texting. Remember when a phone was used for calling?  I still have no flipping idea how to operate my wife's Blackberry.  When it rings I now pick it up by two fingers, careful not to touch any of the buttons on the front or sides of the phone...you see, I have already hung up on people merely by touching the stupid thing.  Then I give it to my wife because I don't want to have anything else to do with it.  Kind of like her purse - oh boy, here we go!!!  Guys, you'll back me up on this one I know!

Your wife asks you (via text of course) to get something out of her purse.  YIKES!!!  THE DREADED PURSE!!! I used to rifle through the thing and, of course, not find what she needs.  Then I would bring the purse to her and she would find the thing immediately!  I stopped attempting to find things in her purse years ago - if she asks me to get her something (again via text because no one talks anymore) I will bring the purse to her and let HER find whatever it is she needs.  The purse, or pocketbook (where did THAT name come from?) is an interesting animal.  They come in a number of sizes from a "clutch", which to a woman is a small purse (and to a guy it's an important car part), to a bag that is put over the shoulder that's so big it touches the ground even when worn over the shoulder.  And the amazing part of all this is......wait for it......they all can carry the same amount of stuff no matter what the size of the purse!  You KNOW I'm right!  It defies physics.  Studies have been conducted at MIT, UCONN and Harvard and no one has been able to find out why this is.  These things have so many hidden compartments in them that they are downright scary.  And again the size of the purse doesn't matter.  In her purse my wife keeps a photo album, all kinds of makeup, personal items (nuf said about that), snacks, gum, gloves, cell phones, glasses, wallet, keys, chainsaw, gun, knives, brass knuckles, mace, and oh yes, chapstick.

Now you know why I don't like going into her purse...and also why I am nice to her at all times.